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MOVIE REVIEW

Tila Tequila Uncorked!

Released: Feb 14th, 2011
Running Time: 137 Min.
Director: Uncredited
Company: Vivid Entertainment Group
DVD Extras: Bonus Scenes, Trailer(s), Widescreen
Cast: Charlie Laine, Kristina Rose, Tila Tequila (Celeb)
Critical Rating: AAAA
Genre: All-Girl, Gonzo

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SYNOPSIS

Love her or hate her, she's the girl you have to watch. Tila Tequila was the toast of MTV with her smash hit Shot at Love and has appeared in Playboy, Penthouse, Maxim and virtually every fashion magazine in existence. She's also one very nasty girl ... and we have the tape to prove it.

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REVIEWS

 

Critical Rating: AAAA

This has got to be the strangest celebrity sex vid yet released. The best way we can come up with to describe it is as sort of a pornographic answer to The Blair Witch Project or Paranormal Activity, in the sense that it most definitely presents a "constructed reality" intended to juice your primal senses via suspension of disbelief ... except in this case, you really, truly are meant to believe it. We think.

The basic conceit, as is revealed through scattered exchanges over the course of the proceedings, is that the infamous Ms. Tequila of MTV, Maxim, Playboy, Penthouse and other platforms of notoriety has ditched a Hollywood party with a fellow hottie she picked up there, and brought her new gal-pal back to her hotel room to fuck. And videotape it. Just so happens that said new gal-pal is someone any regular porn viewer will recognize immediately: multiple AVN Award winner Kristina Rose. (WHAT are the ODDS, we ask you?!)

Tila and Kristina spend a good hour and 15 minutes being naked, getting to know one another, debating where their "pee hole" is, and occasionally trading vag licks. Then Kristina informs Tila that a friend she left behind at the party would like to join them. Who might that friend be? Why, it's lesbian porn veteran Charlie Laine, of course! Needless to say, three-way nakedness, discussion of pee holes and occasional vag-licking ensues.

At any point do Kristina or Charlie mention that they're porn stars? Nope. Is any explanation offered as to why they feel the need to record every second of what's going on (apart from a few passing exclamations that, "We're trying out this new camera!")? Huh-uh. Has there ever been a Hollywood party that started in the middle of the sunshiny afternoon with porn stars in attendance? Not a frickin' chance.

Our point is that if we're meant to think this was not staged, that's a very hard sell. And we're not sure why, if Tila Tequila wanted to make a porn movie, she didn't just make a porn movie, since the pretense that this is a "leaked video" is so horribly transparent.

All that aside, there's no denying Tequila's hotness, or that of watching her go full-on, labes-out lez-core with two pros. We only wish more time was spent showing it to us rather than trying to convince us that we're not supposed to be seeing it.


 

Related Content:

Vivid's Jackie Martin Blogs on Celeb Sex Vids for HollywoodLife
Tila Tequila Gets Another Shot at Love in New Vivid Movie
Vivid Entertainment Group
Vivid Earns 97 Nominations for 2012 AVN Awards
Charlie Laine
Kristina Rose
Tila Tequila (Celeb)
Uncredited

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