Released: Apr 12th, 2011
Running Time: 150 Min.
Director: Mike Quasar
Company: Third Degree Films
DVD Extras: Behind the Scenes, Cumshot Recap, Still Gallery(ies)
Cast: Anthony Rosano, Samantha Ryan, Michael Vegas, Mark Wood, Kristina Rose, Kimberly Kane, Yurizan Beltran, Marco Banderas, Inari Vachs, Bill Bailey
Critical Rating: AAAA
"How does an internationally staged play with a title like this escape parody until now?" Third Degree asked the same question, and answered it with this hilariously entertaining spoof that has Inari Vachs, Kristina Rose and many others talking about their cooches, cunts, slits, pussies and, yes, vaginas—until they get fucked silly by some of the finest cocksmiths in XXX.
As befits its title and source material, this Mike Quasar parody has to be one of the most quotable porn scripts ever. Shot against a black background, six top-notch porn starlets personify their pussies in hilarious bits that lead into light-hearted, female-centered sex scenes.
Samatha Ryan has a 140 I.Q., but her “clit is a magnet for morons” and her smart vagina “can’t say no to stupid”—as personified by Anthony Rosano (who keeps a straight face while saying, “It’s your snatch, your slut slit, your cock pocket, your meat hole, your meat curtain…”).
Kimberly Kane has the highest respect for her natural bush: “I like to have a big burly guy standing watch over my vagina to make sure no losers get in—but sometimes I give him the night off, and when I do, in the morning the place is a mess.” Fortunately, she finds a kindred spirit in Michael Vegas.
And Kristina Rose has a magical vagina that casts a spell over her gynecologist (Mark Wood), but then “his wife’s vagina found out about my vagina, and everything just took a tragic turn.”