Released: Feb 05th, 2013
Running Time: 145 Min.
Director: B. Skow
Company: Vivid Entertainment Group
DVD Extras: Behind the Scenes, Cumshot Recap, Non-Sex Version, Outtakes, Still Gallery(ies)
Cast: Barry Scott, Lexi Swallow, Allie Haze, Seth Gamble, Brian Street Team, Chastity Lynn, Kelly Divine, Evan Stone, Mark Davis, Jayden Lee
Critical Rating: AAAA 1/2
Genre: Parody - Comedy
Dana is unhappy with her station in life ... and her job as a smut-jockey in a porno store. She's juggling with an ex who cheats and a new boyfriend who's sexuality is a bit more than she can handle. Now she's working on her one day off, dealing with smartass co-worker Randi, a riot of anti-condom crusaders, some customers who can't resist coming all over the peep booths, a gerbil-loving customer, and a guy who eats his own cum ... and lets you know it. Will she make it through the day, or finally make a change?
Fresh off his success of Pee-Wee's XXX Adventure, B. Skow has once again tackled a seminal movie for Vivid, this time Kevin Smith's Clerks.
Clerks XXX: A Porn Parody spoofs the 1994 cult hit that spawned the universe of Jay and Silent Bob. In Skow's version, women have taken over the universe, but still seem to remain true to the canon established in the original.
Allie Haze as Dana and Lexi Swallow as Randi are employees of a sex shop, and try their best to get through their minimum-wage day while dealing with nightmare customers, current and ex-boyfriends and two slouchers, Jane and Silent Bertha (Chastity Lynn and Kelly Divine, respectively), who hang around outside imbibing and turning tricks.
David Stanley penned the script for this day-in-the-life saga that delivers quick and witty dialogue and draws deep from the original. Though many changes were necessary (much of the original cast was male, and video rental stores are pretty much obsolete) to adapt it for adult, Stanley did a commendable job.
But Haze and Swallow are the ones who really make this thing work. Haze works hard to deliver a memorable performance as a put-upon clerk who's struggling with the fact that her current boyfriend (Seth Gamble) has dabbled in anal sex 37 times, including with more guys than she has, and her ex-boyfriend (Brian Street Team) is engaged but willing to call it off so he can be with her and still fuck others at the same time. All the while Swallow offers up sarcastic commentary and a not-so-subtle pining for Haze, which climaxes literally and figuratively with the pair getting each other off with everything from hands and mouths to toys at the end.
That's not to say the hot sex scenes are relegated to the end of the movie. Haze is showcased the most, as she opens the action with Gamble on the floor behind the counter, and gets it on later with Street Team in the aisles. There are some ways she positions her body that look impossible, but she does it all while begging for more.
Even Jane and Silent Bertha get a turn in front of the camera as they tag-team Evan Stone in various positions before he blows a load over their faces.
Haze is fast proving herself to be a go-to actress in the industry, but Swallow's acting shouldn't be overlooked. She delivers her dialogue without hesitation, almost as if she's casually having a conversation and not regurgitating lines. Lynn really captures the Jay/Jane character without going too over the top with the performance, and Divine is sublime as Silent Bertha.
Perhaps the funniest bit is the homage to the bathroom sex scene from the original movie. Street Team is endearing and adorable, and just the right amount of scarred after unintentionally hooking up with a customer.
We realize that even with the success of porn parodies in recent years the movies still come down to the sex scenes, but Clerks XXX seems to avoid feeling like a cliché or something thrown together just to capitalize on the trend. It delivers like it's a labor of love for many involved, and really sets itself apart from much of the crowd.