"Gravity," once opined that enlightened superhero The Tick, "is a harsh mistress." A truism never so evident than in OA15 - where nipples migrate south quicker than the Pennsylvania warbler and the world heavyweight championship is battled by Wrinkles vs. Cellulite. And then there are the women. But seriously, folks...or seriously as one can get with niche material... If geriatric butt sex rings your register, count this release as a must-stocker. Using an educated guess as a yardstick, we'd say the ladies range in ages from the late 40s to early 60s. Coincidentally, that's when big band music went on the decline.

They're a pretty enthusiastic bunch, too - though out of desire or mere gratitude for the company it's difficult to say. One can almost hear them complain, "My kids never visit me anymore" as they take it up their collapsed colons.

At least these former flappers still display enough sexual charm to coax a few erections from some nondescript middle-aged guys; one of which tweaks Emerson Style's tits until she whimpers. This dude goes soft in her ass, but the other guys fare better.

Judging which scene is "hotter" is a task better suited to Solomon. However, we can assure viewers that each of these mature whores split their cheeks and gobble da goop like true troopers.