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MOVIE REVIEW

Whack Attack 7

Released: Oct 01st, 2000
Running Time: 80
Director: Tom Byron
Company: Extreme Associates
Cast: Envy (I), Tom Byron, Julie Meadows, Jessica Darlin, Lexington Steele, Cheyenne Silver, Luciano (I), Dolly Golden
Critical Rating: AAAA
Genre: Gonzo

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SYNOPSIS

Another outstanding entry in this successful series.

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REVIEWS

 

Critical Rating: AAAA

After all these years of various, eclectic persona-alterations, host Tom Byron, ol' grenade balls, is settling comfortably into the jazz musician mode right before our very eyes. Byron's got the tortured, world-weary demeanor down pat, has the tinted glasses and the braided goatee. All he needs now is the alto sax, Jack Kerouac's private cell-phone number in the hereafter and a heroin syringe to flesh out the picture.

Before he fucks her in the ass, Byron interviews Julie Meadows and, if you listen carefully, gives away trade secrets. "The way this works," he tells Meadows, "is you suck my cock, I eat your ass, I fuck your pussy, I fuck your ass, I come in your face. That's it. We go home." There it is in a nutshell - the blueprint for success with Byron showing you how to take the anal cha cha cha to the next level of ballroom dancing.

In her little visual T&A tune-up, Envy assumes the "let's take a shit" position, then tells Lexington Steele she's from Poland. Lexington tells her he's from there, too. And, if you believe that one, there's beachfront property in Krakow to be had for cents-on-the-kopek. Nevertheless, Hitler's invasion of Poland is nothing compared to Lexington dive-bombing Envy's pert Polack crapper, particularly when he slides her from the reverse cowgirl into the sidesaddle. Holy brown kapusta.

In a scene that offers some radical gapeage, Byron turns Jessica Darlin into a human blond bowling ball and tests her sphincter for finger circumference, a sequence that segues into a 69 with Tom doing some ass taste-tasting.

Another deft move finds Byron working Jessica's butt with his dick as though he's jimmying a car door open. But it's when he turns her over her side that Jessica displays truly amazing gapeage. Byron finishes her off in Hopalong Cassidy's two favorite cowgirl positions, lathering her face in a literal cream mask.

It used to be "What's your sign?" Now the 21st century come-on line is "What's your Website?" Byron asks the questions as Luciano gets a shot at luscious Dolly Golden, nailing her ass in at least three great positions, leaving Byron energy to finish out the tape with the adorable Cheyenne Silver who, we're happy to report, buttfucks with the best of them.


 

Related Content:

Extreme Associates
Envy (I)
Tom Byron
Julie Meadows
Jessica Darlin
Lexington Steele
Cheyenne Silver
Luciano (I)
Dolly Golden
Tom Byron

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