Released: Nov 01st, 2000
Running Time: 83
Director: Jim Powers
Company: JM Productions
Cast: Lance Romance, Queenie, Damien Michaels, Tree Sweet, Byron Long, Dave Hardman, Devlyn DeVil
Critical Rating: AAAA
Hardcore is, of course, completely beside the point. It's there because it has to be. Shock value, on the other hand, is claiming an increasing market share with Powers' imagination leading the way.
Three new stars shine in the Hollywood sky tonight. Jim Powers, criminal mastermind behind gross-out series like American Bukkake and Perverted Stories, pulls a casting coupe by introducing what is likely to be porn's Charlie's Angels of nausea: Devlyn, the cute cue-ball-next-door;
Tree, the human mastodon; and Queenie, a ghastly witch rubbed from the cover of Weird Tales magazine.
In one of this year's most outrageous sex scenes, Devlyn is kidnapped and penned in a head block by a berserk family of carnival geeks. With a few snips, pretty auburn locks are on their way to the ground. Her pathetic wails only spur Tree's taunting as she shaves the scalp clean with a Schick disposable. Queenie dances macabre in the background.
Baldy Devlyn is released but forced to pee in Tree's footbath. After the big girl gleefully plashes her twinkies in it she dumps the uric acid back on poor Devlyn's head as a salve for razor burn.
Then, Lance Romance as the Cookie-Dough Man (a variation on the Egg Man of Pink Flamingos fame) dumps flour around Tree's corpulent trunk. She rolls around the floor in it - nude. With cholesterol passions fulminating in her bowels, she stuffs wads of dough up her voluminous cunt and begs her amour to knead it. His woody, disguised as an unfried cruller, has a pop-n-fresh heyday.
Imprinted on this tape is a porn set janitor's worst nightmare - hair, fluids (bodily and otherwise), and pounds of raw cookie dough - litter the floor. If things continue at this pace, they're going to need an extra line in the credits.