One hundred and sixteen minutes and not one milk fight. No super soakers doing battle. Not even a milk skirmish, for fuck's sake. There's never even two girls in the same scene. What a rip-off. And customers who pick this tape up on the strength of the title are certain to feel as disappointed as this reviewer.

Oh, sure, there's lactating breasts a-plenty, with hand-held breast pumps and even a mechanized one. And there's a fun scene between a sexy, voluptuous black girl and - who else? - Dave Hardman, especially when she squirts breast milk all over his mullet 'do and into his face and mouth. And it's certainly educational to observe the fact that when women lactate, the milk squirts out in a multitude of tiny streams instead of one big one. But when you promise a milk fight, you best deliver on it.