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Assficianado

Assficianado

Released Sep 30th, 2002
Running Time 104
Director Andre Madness
Company Rosebud Productions
Cast Jonathan Freeman, Bobby Vitale, Byron Long, Sir Vicks, Dillion Day, Daniella Rush, Angel Long, Ashley (I), Mr. Marcus, Lee Stone, Monica Sweetheart, Jay Ashley
Critical Rating AAAA 1/2
Genre All-Sex

Rating

Synopsis

One of the best anal tapes of the year, suitable for both solo strokers and ambitious couples.

Reviews

It almost sounds like a comedy: a host (Frank Bukkwyd) welcomes you to a guided tour of the history of anal sex. However, when we shift to ancient Rome in the first scene, we discover that director Andrew Madness is not looking to amuse us, but to express the intensity of his feelings for the object of his affection: the female ass.

Wonderfully lit and lovingly shot, Madness' camera follows the curves, fixating on the beads of sweat glistening on Ashley's rump, finishing with the penetration of his fixation as Dillion Day mounts her for an energetic tryst - his reward for a good day's work as a gladiator.

After some serious pole choking - Day takes Ashley on his Spartan-like bed from behind, then Ashley mounts him in a reverse cowgirl, then shifts to fingering herself as Day places her in a WWF-like mish with her ankles up above her ears, dropping his load directly on her asshole. As they said in the days of Caesar - I came, I shot footage, I made a brilliant anal movie.

Next, Bukkwyd takes us to a Spanish Inquisition. Monica Sweetheart is the subject of an Inquisition trial in which she must admit her crimes or suffer the consequences (love the cholo accent for the monk). Of course she doesn't, which leaves Grand Inquisitor Lee Stone no choice but to sodomize the hell out of her. (Insert mandatory joke about priests and choir boys here.).

Daniella Rush runs through the jungle (representing the late 19th century expansionism of the European empires) only to be caught by two large natives in tribal gear. The natives decide to teach her some local customs - mostly how to service two black guys at once, starting with the double b.j. scene and working up to a double penetration shot. After both the natives drop their loads on her ass, Rush slowly gathers her clothes as Madness pans in on her behind, catching a moving moment where Rush looks down and caresses that which has just been ravaged.

The final scene is where the true brilliance lies. If the rest of the movie is a setup, this is the punchline. It's a statement from Madness: this is what sex can be - should be - today; the dirty, sexy, sweaty, raunchy, degrading freedom of it all.

There's a dirty building with dirty writing on the wall, and a dirty girl in the form of Ashley Long being forced to play a sex kitten (or sex panther) with two fellow latex enthusiasts played by Jay Ashley and Pat Myne. Long is led by a chain around her neck across the water-strewn black floor, and is made to lap milk from a bowl. She then proceeds to attempt to drink "milk" from both Ashley and Myne, swapping hungrily between them as if she's trying to decide which of her favorite flavors of cock to eat today.

Long is led to the bare mattress lying in a corner of the room, where the trio begins to play in earnest. Ashley launches into Long's ass first, while Myne gets sucked off some more - but Ashley's not greedy, he passes Long around. Then there's the triple solo masturbation, until Long can't take it any more and leaps on Myne's cock. Still not enough, she pulls Ashley into her mouth. Next comes the d.p., which drives Long wild. Ashley and Myne keep calling her a whore, a slut, a bitch? but Long only responds by telling them to fuck her in the ass. "Fucking fuckers, you fuck me," she growls as they d.p. her.

After that, two out of three orifices are full at all times. Ashley and Myne are on a rotation, swapping her holes back and forth, both guys getting to spend some time in each. Finally, it ends. We don't know who is more exhausted - the viewer or the trio. Intense.

Pre-noms go to Madness and Early Chaos for Best Videography, Frank Bukkwyd for Best Non-Sex Role, Long, Ashley, and Myne for Best Group Sex Scene and of course the tape itself for Best Anal-Themed Feature.



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