Lots of great things come from Sweden - Ikea, those little meatballs, the Swedish Chef - but the best Swedish export of all has to be the blonde chicks with big knockers. So you'd think it would be impossible to make a bad porn movie featuring Nordic babes. Sadly Swedish Girls Exposed comes close.

The best scenes here include a classically clichéd porno set-up hearkening back to the heyday of 8mm Swedish Erotica loops: Some housewife has a problem with her faucet: "Oh no! It's de leakin!" she shrieks. Enter the plumber (he's come to fix the sink). The dame doesn't have any money (socialism at work); so she pays him in poontang. The wooden porno line readings are just charming when delivered with thick Swedish accents, and the sex between these two is bone-stiffening.

The rest of the drillings here are boring and by-the-book, proving that porn-stars phone it in across the Atlantic as well; and the annoyingly murky lighting obscures important views of the genitalia porn fans enjoy watching. Huge points off for a strap-on lesbian coupling between two statuesque honeys that should have melted the Northern icecap, but is foiled by endless close-ups that are so dark and shadowy, the viewer can't see anything at all.