Leave it to the Brits.

Adrian Gill is a food critic and man-about-town columnist in England.  He pitched the idea of directing a U.S. porn video to British GQ, which hooked him up with Metro, and he wrote and directed this video so he would have material for his column.  And this mainstream writer -- an amateur, mind you -- has beaten us at our own game.

Seven scenes, (one g/g) bookended by writer Ron Jeremy setting up the scenes while he's tapping away on a manual typewriter.  The scenes are clever and well-placed, each taking its proper time to get the job done.  Highlights include Houston seducing pastry chef Jake Steed, eating all the while and finally diving into an enormous cake; Kianna Bradley and Tina Cheri in a coprousts-the-illegal-alien scenario that ends with a twist; a scene where a blindfolded Pat Myne screws Johnni Black, thinking she's Houston; and a poignant quickie at the end that puts a bitter-sweet cap on the whole enterprise.

Gill has gotten good acting performances from everybody in the cast.  Quasarman (here, "Mike Quasar") tops his regular on-the-money camera placement with a soft-focus glamour look that is atmospheric without being too discreet.  Uncredited music and background sound design add more layers of gloss.

Well done all around.  And congratulations to Metro for taking the chance on Gill and his script: It has paid off handsomely.

Pre-noms: Adrian Gill for screenplay and direction; Mike Quasar for videography; Best Featurette Tape.