Released: Jun 01st, 1999
Running Time: 133
Director: Jim Holliday
Company: VCA Platinum Plus
Cast: Shayla LaVeaux, Wynona Winter, Colt Steele, Steve Hatcher, Eddie Bertrand, Jill Kelly, Danielle Rogers, The Big Kahuna, Randy Spear, Herschel Savage, Jim Holliday, Timber, P.J. Sparxx, Kelsey Heart, Root Loggins, Teri Starr, Felecia, Hellcat, Judy Moon, Nikita (I)
Critical Rating: AAA
Car Wash Angels this ain\'t. Even so, if Holliday is a name quantity among your clientele ?and most of his stuff has moved well in the past? stock accordingly and push to couples in the mood for light-weight fare.
Light, sprightly surf music and dark, down-and-dirty porn are only slightly more compatible than the proverbial water and oil. But that's only one of the problems with Brown Eyed Blondes, director Jim Holliday's latest girl-gaggle extravaganza.
In telling the extremely thin tale of the Viking Surf Slits, and all-female surf rock band, Holliday clearly tries to infuse his script with a wacky, zany brand of humor. Unfortunately, what may be entertaining to the director comes across to viewers as indulgent, insipid (one could drive a truck through certain stretches of dialogue) and frequently disposable. The sex, meanwhile, is an improvement over the story-telling, but that's not really saying much. The vast majority of the 11 scenes are pro forma and decidedly uninspired, featuring some of the most rote anal "action" to come across the AVN threshold in many a moon. And clearly not helping to set the proper tone is that constant bouncy surf guitar on the soundtrack. House music, yes. Pipeline-inspired ditties, we don't think so.
Sure, there are a couple of hot spots, such as a spirited four-girl-tongue-a-thon highlighted by P.J. Sparxx's dirty discourse, and a loud, sweaty Felecia/Jill Kelly hardware hum. But they, uh, pop up all-too-infrequently. At one shy of a dozen scenes, Brown Eyed Blondes plainly demonstrates that more isn't necessarily better. The only thing that saves it from a lower rating is its huge A-list cas and sharp production values.