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Released: Jan 01st, 1999
Running Time: 126
Director: Tiffany Mynx
Company: Extreme Associates
Cast: Tom Byron, Luciano (I), Van Damage, Jonathon the Rabbit, Alexandra Nice, Stryc-9, Tiffany Mynx, Chandler (I), Jessica Darlin, Doobie, Iroc, Nina Harthley
Critical Rating: AAAA
Any excuse to put Van Damage into a ridiculous costume is a worthwhile one. Customers who enjoy wry, trippy anal vids will be shouting \"Hail Asswoman\" all the way to the cash register.
Welcome to a typical Labor Day party at Casa Van Damage: the Extreme gang's drinking beer, grilling steaks and getting stoned. Look, there's Van bitching at Tom Byron for feeding the dog under the table; and over here, Rob Black's describing his Viagra-induced hard-on with his customary tact and restraint. And wandering through it all is Tiffany Mynx, who has back pain. Bad, bad back pain; bad enough for her to pop a few painkillers and stagger into the bathroom to pass out. And so this hip contempo-porn version of Lewis Carroll's Alice in Wonderland begins....
Looking adorable in her Alice get-up (and even more adorable when it's off), Tiff is led by midget Jonathon the Rabbit through a surrealistic world of sexual encounters (mark down a pre-nom for art direction) to observe, and sometimes participate.
While Chandler and Jake Steed's coupling isn't especially inspired, Alexandra Nice's smooth mish-anal with Luciano is better; particularly when he shoots into a glass. ":Drink me," he urges, and you'd think he held a Frappuccino recipe in his nuts from the way Tiffany savors every gooey drop.
An ardent tryst between a hookah-smoking Tom Byron as the "Lord of Asses" and his anal "flower girls" (Stryc-9 and Jessica Darlin) leads Tiff to Luciano and Van in the midst of "toe party" (another pre-nom) with a Day-Glo be-wigged Iroc and Stryc-9. The requisite acquire-taste foot jobs give way to serious conflagration when Tiffany joins in, and gets as close to a frenzied fisting from Stryc-9 as the legal limit allows. Van fucks Tiffany into a squirting, squealing mess and everyone gets weird. "Eat me... drink me... lick me," they intone, and Tiffany flees - only to run into an hysterically caustic Rob Black ("I'm the cheesy field - the Cheshire field - ah, that fuckin' cat thing!"). Rob instructs her to eat the 'shroom that Lord Tommy bestowed upon her, and she ends up in Queen Nina Hartley's court for another group scorcher: Nina whips Tiffany with a red leather cat 'o nine, setting her up for an awesome d.p. with Van and Lucano. With globs of their DNA smeared across her face, Tiffany finally accepts her much-deserved crown as Asswoman (it's kind of like a Miss America of the colon, minus the lame-ass song and flowers).