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MOVIE REVIEW

Lord of Asses

Released: Nov 01st, 1998
Running Time: 110
Director: Tom Byron
Cast: Tom Byron, Stryc 9, Iroc, Jessica Darlin, Chandler (I), Alexandra Nice, Elena (I)
Critical Rating: AAAA 1/2
Genre: Gonzo

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SYNOPSIS

This anal masterpiece is an absolute must for those committed to backdoor amusements; also push to real boob fans (five out of six pairs are hand-stamped by the Lord of Lords)

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REVIEWS

 

Critical Rating: AAAA 1/2

There are only a handful of porn-makers who shoot close-to-perfect product. Tom Byron has repeatedly proven he's one of them. Each segment of his latest/greatest is so hot that after two-point-five scenes, viewership is likely to lose control of the vessel and crash.

All six girls in Lord of Asses are prime, divine turbo-fuckers. They're physically and temperamentally different from one another, and they all take the butt ride like smoldering, bad-ass cowgirls. Elena, a supremely hot Russian blonde, fucks hard and cums with awesome intensity (both orifices, on separate assaults). She convulses, and shrieks so loud that you'd better hit Mute or else neighbors will think you're murdering parakeets.

Voracious sex-animal Jessica Darlin prances around in red shorty-shorts until its time to strip and choke on cock, which she does like the tongue-pierced warrior she is (half the hipsters here are studded with tongue metal). She bends Byron's cock back and sucks him hard until it flies out of her mouth and slaps him in the stomach. She then pulls it back into her face and resumes her dirty work. Redheaded Chandler blows Mr.B., bends over, and guides him straight into her ass, no pussyfooting around. Byron pulls out of her ass every so often and she gropes for his cock as if it were a lost suck-toy. Please note that this scene takes place in Chandler's own bedroom, which is piled high with cutesy stuffed animals -- an incredible context for raunch. The fluffy little ghouls with bulging eyes peer out from behind the anal demolition.

Porn viewers looking for a new girl with a natural chest to freak out over will go insane for Stryc 9. She's an exceedingly ripe Fräulein, just a mile of peaches and strawberries, who doesn't look at all like the standard-issue porn slut. She looks like an innocent, well-scrubbed cheerleader. She's quick-witted and painfully voluptuous. She asks the Lord of Asses to go easy on her, but when nasty camp is in full, aggressive session, and she's being reamed to the hilt with, like, 10 silver dollar-sized gapes, her response is "Ooh yeah." The poised camera, on target shows the world her sweet, quiet void. Stryc 9's scene begins and ends with close-ups of her sphincter, turned puppet. She puckers her anus in sync to herself saying "hello" and "good-bye."

Exotic foot queen Iroc, who has the dexterity of a monkey, squeezes Mr. B.'s cock between her 10 toes and jerks. When she brings in a third limb, a hand, you watch with disoriented pleasure, confused by so many appendages. These few minutes are hotter than any foot fetish tape on the market. Alexandra Nice's philosophy of cock-sucking seems to be Don't Put the Chunk In Your Mouth Unless You're Going To Cram It All In. So she does that, over and over again, to the point where the viewer gets lost in her miraculous throat. She stares Byron down and consumes his organ.

Scenes don't end when Byron's had enough. They end when the girls are fucked to smithereens, their insides readjusted. They're 'gasmed and sweaty and rope-a-dope giddy. Furious metal music grinds away as the bodies tear each other apart. Byron's cameramen do an excellent job framing the action, keeping as much of Tommy's hazy, blue-eyed kisser out of the shot as possible, i.e. the better to admire the true subject -- the physical wonders -- the girls. Too many gonzo egos like to see themselves on camera. Byron knows what's appealing in his videos. The sight of Iroc walking up a flight of stairs, her big hard ass flexing to and fro, is mesmerizing. Each requisite interview is quick and to-the-point, but still gives you some idea (if only a micro one) of what the starlet is like straight-on, as p-p-people.


 

Related Content:

30-Year Vet: Interview With Tom Byron
xPeeps Celebrates Tom Byron Pictures for Hollywood July Party
Tom Byron Presents 'The Best of Lord of Asses 2'
Tom Byron
Stryc 9
Iroc
Jessica Darlin
Chandler (I)
Alexandra Nice
Elena (I)
Tom Byron

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