Hitching a ride to California, she's picked up by hippie musician Steve Hatcher and crashes at his love bead-laden apartment.  And what's a good country girl worth her manners to do, but thank him by slathering the ol' meatpole with spit?  Valentine's sister, Alyssa Love, spills the beans on Valentine's whereabouts to Byron, who treks out to La La Land to find her, but not before they do the construction yard horizontal blue-veined boogie.

Convinced she has what it takes to be a star, Valentine "auditions" with bombshell Davia Ardell while sleazy movie producer Ron Jeremy films their blonde-on-blonde lesbo cuntslurp.  Jace Rocker's nom-worthy script is full of witty one-liners and jabs at the mainstream.  Jonathan Morgan's excellent take on director Ed Wood, with pencil-line mustache and references to stretched-out angora sweaters, will leave you chortling.  Sexy, funny, top-notch couples fare.