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Released: Jan 01st, 1999
Running Time: 105
Directors: Vamp Pictures, Kid Sparkle
Distribution Companies: Leisure Time
Cast: Alec Metro, J.J. Michaels, Dakota (I), Jennifer Leigh, Sindee (I), Temptress, Tye (I), Syren, Lilienne Li, Ron Jeremy
Critical Rating: AAAA
Stock this, and frat boys across the land will thank you. Oh, and if you haven\'t started a Cult section yet, take a deep breath and force yourself. It\'s a coming-of-the-millenium thing.
Think a video feature that can be described as Tod Browing's Freaks-meets-John Waters' Multiple Maniacs-meets-The Rocky Horror Picture Show-meets-The Blue Angel qualifies as something out of the ordinary? We do - and despite the fact that the only thing more disquieting than director Kid Sparkle in his normal, everyday state is actor Kid Sparkle doing a Tim Curry-as-Frank-N-Furter impression, we're giving House of Freaks a hearty recommendation.
The "freaks" in the title are a mixture of the prenom wworthymade-up sort (The Six-Breasted Woman, The Siamese Twins, The Exploding Eyeball Guy, The Pinhead); the circus sideshow kind (The Fat Lady, The Transsexual); and the violating-the-laws-of-taste-and-decorum variety (Ron Jeremy in a baby bonnet and diaper). And when Alec Metro and Dakota's car runs out of gas, they enter a house full of all of 'em, presided over by a pink-wigged (all and none of the above) Kid Sparkle. Sparkle's scam is to lure strangers in, ostensibly to use his telephone, but really to let his scary-ass family fuck them in order to expand the clan.
Forget the first scene with Alec Metro, Sindee and Jennifer Leigh; there's some obvious stunt-cocking at work (unless Alec has the power to change his pretty pink hairless package into an olive-skinned, black furred crotch gnome back and forth at will). Luckily, it's the only really weak link in this bizarre chain; and overlookable when he returns to fuck Tye and Temptress, who are joined at the hip - literally. The three transcend the logistical difficulties of the situation with some good, loud sex that's highlighted by Metro and Temptress' heart-clenching eye contact.
"Goddamn, you're so deformed!" moans Dakota ecstatically, upon being confronted with Pinhead J.J. Michaels' big business. Perhaps only a Ramones fan could enjoy Michaels' get-up, but Steely Dan-types can effectively block him out when Dakota climbs aboard for a hot reverse cowgirl. We also applaud a creatively-shot encounter that's certain to unnerve the conservative contingent - who really shouldn't be watching this vid in the first poplace between Syren, Mark Spritz, and grgorgeousranssexual Lilienne Li.
And then there's the Ron Jeremy/dakota infantilism scene. Truly a defining moment in Ronnie's illustrious career.