Before we even discuss the content of this line, you've got to be prepared to deal with the quality (or lack thereof). Looking like it was shot through a shower curtain on World War II-surplus film stock, then uploaded to an '50s-era Soviet satellite in a rapidly decaying orbit, and finally downloaded to a rogue Internet Website, this grainy, herky-jerky mess couldn't even get a rise out of the President stranded in a 12-step abstinence program.

For what it's worth, the vids contain a variable amount of sexual activity ranging on the "explicit" scale from Moderately Hardcore to Stupefyingly Dull Softcore. Mastered on video, Hunan Honeys and Backdoor to Bangkok don't deliver on their specific ethnic or sexual implications in their titles... but they are a tad less shitty-looking than the ones on film, and about one-tenth more revealing. As for the rest, an educated guess tells us that one rotten feature film (shot in period costume) was broken up into three equally miserable volumes. Korean Kandy, like Lotus Load Lovers and Egg Foo Young, features Japanese performers, not Koreans. (In fact, all of the B/W photocopied box covers in this line show models not appearing in the vids.)

As if moving these weren't hassle enough, the films depict on-screen acts of hara-kiri and children in supporting roles! Do you really wanna get busted for this, the lowest common denominator of imported crap, when there are so many better examples of Asian material? (Note April '98's ethnic supplement. --Ed.)