Released: Dec 01st, 1997
Running Time: 85
Company: Zane Entertainment Group
Cast: Dave Hardman, Golden Jade, Weed, Drop Tommy, Meagan Reed, Big D, Solveig, Rick Masters, Tony Eveready, Byron Long, Kira (I), Macy (III)
Critical Rating: AAA 1/2
The first couple of tales (an urbanized update of Little Red Riding Hood and a less-than-smoldering session of voodoo lust) don't even hint at the depravity to follow. Sure-fire nominee for Most Outrageous sex Scene features Dave Hardman reprising his Farmer Joe role (made famous in Jim Powers vids) while the little snout-nose piggies Kira and Solveig eat from his slop bucket.
Rolling around in what appears to be pig shit (probably chocolate pudding) until they're well-greased, the porcine pets accommodate his hambone up their backdoor bacon-makers until Hardman cums twice. Watching them lick their "pig shit" out of the crack of his hairy, matted ass is a sight worthy of Pink Flamingos.
Wrapping up the vid in a Kentucky Fried Movie homage is a riotous kung-fu spoof, The Golden Dong, replete with over-dubbed dialogue and flashy, meaningless karate moves. Eveready sports a '70s 'fro large enough to topple him over, while his partner Rick Masters plays his Asian sidekick. Together they're out to defeat evildoer Macy, whose carnal come-uppance results in a mutual pleasing d.p. session with one load of spoo headed south and the other, north.
Tales may not be the sexiest vid of the year, but it certainly holds a few amusing surprises in store for the right kind of customer.