PLEASUREBUSINESSVODAVN AWARDS 2014

Located in: Home > Movies > Hienie's Heroes
MOVIE REVIEW

Hienie's Heroes

Released: May 01st, 1996
Running Time: 114
Directors: Jace Rocker, Jim Enright
Company: VCA Platinum Pictures
Cast: Peter North, Tony Tedeschi, Taylor Hayes, Roxanne Hall, Sofia Ferrari, Eric Price, T.T. Boy, Tera Heart, Jessica James, Tom Byron, Micky Lynn, Coralie, Jonathan Morgan
Critical Rating: AAAAA
Genre: Feature

Popular Rating Average:
My Rating:
Please log in to rate. Don't have a free account? Register now!

Buy DVD Watch Online





REVIEWS

 

Critical Rating: AAAAA

War... huh! What is it good for? Absolutely everything, according to director Jim Enright's hilarious romp through the Fatherland. More than a mere historic excursion, Hienie's Heroes consistently delivers sexy frauleins chowing down the human knockwurst and more laughs per minute than a canister full of nitrous gas. Full of corny one-liners and witty double-entendres, it's laden with a hearty borrowing of the old Charlie Chaplin classic The Great Dictator with a salute to Mel Brooks' The Producers' "Springtime for Hitler" segment.

Set in pre-war (where else?) Germany, principals Jonathan Morgan and Enright come to the disgusted realization that the Fatherland's economy just ain't what it used to be. They need a good old fashioned war to boost the sagging economy, and need a mighty dictator to take the reins and restore their beloved "Vulgaria" to its former glory. But who would be stupid enough to lead their once-great country into war? The answer lies beneath their collective proboscises, in the form of fearlessly horny wallpainter/paperhanger Tony Tedeschi, in a screechingly nutty, nominations-worthy performance. He screams "Heil ME! Oy, heil me!" with each orgasm, letting his tongue take a hike through the mossy labial hills of the gorgeous, Brooklynese-spouting Tera Heart, right into a three-way with delectable French pastry Coralie, who licks the swollen-nippled Hart as she gently shoves and then retrieves a pearl necklace from Heart's fudge tunnel.

Realizing they must overthrow the Stalinesque Kaiser (T.T. Boy, with his Lee Press-On Whiskers flapping tenaciously in the breeze), the newly-appointed Frankenfuhrer and his faithful sidekick, Field Marshall Tom Byron (looking like the mad love child of Chico Marx & Yahoo Serious) hatch a plot to destroy all the books in the land, eliminate all the intellectuals & opposers and then instill in the remaining populace their party's mind-set, with the slogan: Don't be a dumbkopf/Be a smarty/Join the Ratzi Party! Along the way, they lock horns with the soon-to-invade dictator of Genitalia, a wisecracking, bald Ron Jeremy, who, with Peter North, take turns d.p.'ing sexy Italian import Sofia Ferrari upon Jeremy's desk and then practically drown her in a cum-drenched, facial Bavarian cream-pie. English Muffin Roxanne Hall visits T.T. in jail, and uplifts his spirits first with her impromptu bump 'n' grind against the bars of his cell, and then by expertly spit-polishing his sausage, culminating into a jailhouse ass-fucking buffet, doggie-style.

Taylor Hayes is the Kaiser's fiercely loyal daughter who, after a failed assassination attempt, ably plies Morgan's weiner with her schnitzel. The resulting table top fuck sees Morgan's hands spreading open her lusciously sleek butt cheeks to reveal the puckered gem within, as he furiously sinks h is Bismarck ever deeper into her tightly straining pussy. The dames later join forces (as well as their tongues to each other's creaming snatches) for a little old fashioned female-bonding, as Hall & Heart show Hayes that there are plenty of things a woman can do better than a man. Award-winning writer Jace Rocker (1996 AVN award winner; Best Screenplay, Video) doesn't scrimp with the steamy sex scenes or campy humor. Hienie's Heroes righteously mixes sexy performances, great set designs, and -- did I neglect to mention the humor yet?


 

Related Content:

VCA Platinum Pictures
Peter North
Tony Tedeschi
Taylor Hayes
Roxanne Hall
Sofia Ferrari
Eric Price
T.T. Boy
Tera Heart
Jessica James
Tom Byron
Micky Lynn
Coralie
Jonathan Morgan
Jace Rocker
Jim Enright

Comments

 /
Please log in to comment.
Don't have a free account? Become a member!


By participating you agree to our Privacy Policy & the AVN "Be Kind Policy"
and represent that you are not under the age of 18.





TOP STORIES OF THE DAY
Golden Age Director Phil Marshak Passes Away
Center for Sex and Culture Sponsors Panel on Feminist Porn
Will Ryder to Make 'Jersey Boys' His Next XXX Musical
Tori Black Appears on 'Ray Donovan'
TMZ: Skin Diamond Rejects Olympian Mance


AVN.com