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Released: Dec 01st, 1995
Running Time: 87
Director: Paul Thomas
Company: Vivid Entertainment Group
Cast: Dallas (I), Tony Tedeschi, Michael J. Cox, Asia Carrera, Christa Rain, T.T. Boy, Jenteal, Shelby Stevens, Christy Canyon, Ian Daniels
Critical Rating: Not Yet Rated
On the set of an adult movie that features Santa Clauses parading around in coolie hats, more construction-in-progress than a weekend at Bob Vila's, and where smarm flows like molten lava, Christy Canyon, "the living legend," is about to make her celebrated comeback. In a jungle picture, at that. And judging by the swing-orchestrals glossing up the sex scenes, the reincarnation of Benny Goodman seems to be taking place right before our very ears, too.
Mimicking the antic level of HBO's "Garry Shandling Show" to a T, Comeback never for once takes itself seriously. Even as the wide-eyed Christy groupies are proclaiming her as "one of the biggest porno stars to ever suck a fucking' dick," Christy stares straight-faced into the camera in little documentary-style asides to make the kind of self-serving pronouncements that would gag a maggot. Orchestrated unabashedly to the "Star Spangled Banner," one might add.
A brainstorming session between the addle-brained director (Paul Thomas), and alpha-type screenwriter (a certain former child star in a hilarious cameo), and Christy's sleazeball agent Tony Tedeschi transforms an idiotic concept into a movie. Tedeschi playing one of his best roles ever, is a master of wide-eyed duplicity who would let his star sleep with live rats if he could get the cheese concession.
To that undignified end, Christy'll parade around in a sarong, make love to jungle lords and be sacrificed to a volcano. As she soon discovers, the comeback trail is loaded with masturbatory potholes —ego and sexual.
The scenes that inspire Christy's tease-oriented anatomical self-examinations are hilarious. Shelby Stevens clad in a nurse's getup climbs bars in a jail cell like a rhesus monkey before she administers vulval CPR to Ian Daniels. Porn star T.T. Boy's whispered undying proclamations of affection to Christy from behind a door as he's being sucked off by Dallas, are pointless from a sincerity aspect, but hysterical. Then, to make matters worse, stand-in Steven St. Croix blows the opportunity of a lifetime by prematurely ejaculating, thus lending an A Star Is Born twist, allowing craft services girl Asia Carrera to shine in a threeway.
Christy, one must be quick to point out, looks astonishingly voluptuous throughout this wallow in black humor, and her fantastic body's seen to wonderful advantage when she bends over the desk for Tedeschi as he exacts his ten percent.
As "living legends" go, Christy has little in common with wrestler Bruno Sammartino. Then, again, Bruno never looked that good hunched over a credenza.