Released: Jul 01st, 1994
Running Time: 80
Director: Toe Knee
Company: Midnight Video
Cast: Dick Nasty, Wolf Savage, Shelby Stevens, Jan Daniels, Tanya (I), Cris Collins, Stephanie DuValle, Cal Jammer, Mona Lisa (III)
Critical Rating: A
A quick check of the above credits should give you an idea how old some of this video is. Cal and Mona haven't made a feature in more than a year; Cris Collins is billed as "Meo" and has long blonde hair; and poor Tanya has no last name.
Anyway, Omar the Soothsayer (Coldwater) tells Stephanie DuValle that he knows why she's come to him. That's more than Steph knows, since it takes two shouts of "Action!" from the off-camera director to get her through Omar's door. Omar tells her she has a dark past. Her future don't look none too bright either, if she keeps appearing in videos like this. Omar gazes into his crystal, and lo and behold, we can see ... Ian Daniels and Shelby Stevens getting it on? Why? Magically, Dick Nasty and Stephanie pop up on the couch next to Ian and Shelby. How?
Other couples we get to see via crystal-ball-o-phone are Cris with Wolf Savage, Cal with Tanya, and Mona with Dick Nasty — but the real magic would have been if this video could keep viewers awake. Obviously pieced together from unheated scraps obtained hither and yon.