Released: Jul 01st, 1996
Running Time: 138
Director: Jim Holliday
Company: VCA Platinum Plus
Cast: Joey Silvera, T.T. Boy, Bionca (I), Tammi Ann, Jordan Lee, Micki Lynn, Bobby Vitale, Kylie Ireland, Crystal Breeze, Peter North, Tom Byron, Shelby Stevens, Paisley Hunter, Jake Steed, Emily (I), Clay Hyde, Sid Deuce, Juli Ashton, Careena Collins, Missy (I), Caressa Savage, Jill Kelly, Shayla LeVeaux, Sindee Coxx
Critical Rating: AAAA 1/2
The year's not even half over, but it ain't exactly goin' out on a limb to predict that come award nominations time, Jim Holliday's Car Wash Angels will be taped for multiple video categories, including Best All-Girl Scene, Best Director, and even the big enchilada, Best Video. Yes, dear readers, it's that good.
Like his previous paeans to slumber parties, nurses and flight attendants, Holliday's latest features another star-studded cast that seemingly includes half the A-list talent in the known porn universe.
And like the Energizer bunny, this thing just keeps on going and going and going for 138 delicious minutes, with one dick-stiffening scene after another, of nearly every stripe and variety.
Since the whacked-out "plot" of this zany, Gregory Dark-influenced (stylistically) production is purposely incomprehensible —something about efforts by The Burton Allen Institute of Car Wash Management to improve efficiency so that Joey Silvera's soapy biz can win some contest —let's gloss it over and cut straight to the chase.
Even before the opening credits, we find Sydney St. James enthusiastically devouring Peter North's and Jake Steed's giant wangs, which soon thereafter are buried deep inside her ass and pussy before being yanked out for a massive, simultaneous double facial. Towel, please.
A little later, we encounter Micki Lynn getting chowed on by stud #1 while Juli Ashton blows Steed's aforementioned gargantuan member. Ashton's partner then dips his mojo into her dripping love canal while Lynn pumps the former school marm's ass with a butt blaster. Both guys shoot off on the girls' kissers, with Steed in particular making a beautiful mess of Ashton's lovely countenance (isn't it about time that Steed be deeded North's long-held crown as king of the massive pop shots?).
T.T. Boy need not worry about relinquishing his crown as Woodsman Supreme if his performance in the video's centerpiece is any indication. Alone with most of the female cast, he proceeds to bone one after another after another, starting with Jill Kelly and Missy (who takes load number one), Kylie Ireland and Sindee Coxx (who takes load number two), Paisley Hunter, and finally birthday girl St. James, who takes load number three as the others chant, "Ice the cake, ice the cake!"
Meanwhile, if Bionca's in a vid, can humungous amounts of oil be far behind? You already know the answer, but do check out her frenzied Seven-esque clam bake with Kelly, Shelby Stevens, Tammi Ann, Careena Collins and three of four others anyway.
It's a tough act to follow, but Boy's and Tom Byron's ensuing d.p. mauling of Collins is more than up to the task. It's not likely to win any accolades from your local NOW chapter —super-slut Collins just loves being abused as an impersonal sex object —but frankly, Scarlet, we don't give a damn.
Your customers will thank you from the bottom of their crotches for stocking multiple copies of Car Wash Angels, which are bound to quickly fly off your shelves and out your doors.