Starbangers 8

Released: Jul 01st, 1996
Running Time: 81
Directors: Jonathan Morgan, Jay Ashley
Company: Zane Entertainment Group
Cast: Dave Hardman, Kyle Phillips, Steve Hatcher, Michael J. Cox, Kyle Stone (I), Nici Sterling, Woody Long, Valentino (I), Sean Ryder, Don Fernando, Ric Masters, Tom Byron, Paul Cox, Julian St. Jox, Dick Nasty, Max Cady
Critical Rating: AAA 1/2
Genre: All-Sex

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What coulda been a contenda come awards time shoots itself in the foot by violating one of porn's cardinal maxims: a soundtrack chock-full of moans and groans will invariably be hotter than one featuring generic fuck-footage music.

Imagine, therefore, the blown opportunities presented by Starbangers 8, in which gorgeous Nici Sterling takes on 18 studs, performing, among other Olympian-like feats, nine straight d.p.'s.

Incredibly, however, the goings-on are all maddeningly tepid due to the producers' decision to give us a wall-to-wall porn muzak soundtrack with nary a single freakin' warble from out beautiful British songbird.

Oh, what could have been..