Released: Jun 01st, 1995
Running Time: 90
Director: Scotty Fox
Company: Legend Video
Cast: Sylvia (I), Tera Heart, Steve Drake, Holly Body, Mike Horner, Kia, Melissa Hill, Rachel Love, Sandi Beach
Critical Rating: AAA
Even if this "Ed Wood" spoof had been a little more punctual, the fact remains that, drenched in "cheap budget" jokes and philosophical excesses regarding same, Rod Wood is simply another Scotty Fox bellyaching session about the lan state of adult industry economics.
Yet, despite the presence of enough humor-challenged lines to choke a horse-laugh, a certain amount of creativity surfaces in this fromage which has muscular tanning salon coverboy Brick Majors playing Fox (a wee bit of wishful thinking perhaps, since Majors gets to finger Dallas' ass in a threeway); J.B. making like Criswell, Tera Heart made to look like Theda Bara, and a priest (Steve Drake) becoming a porn star.
Mike Horner, as the title character, sports gender-threatening mascara and accessorizes with a lively assortment of angora sweaters and berets. As an eccentric without eccentric lines to utter, however, he still manages to render a fairly good accounting of himself. It's made abundantly clear early on that director Horner is doing an adult flick for peanuts, and the idea is enlivened nearly every thirty seconds after that. Starlets Melissa Hill and Rachel Love do a scene in a jail cell that's supposed to be a living room. Pizzaboy Alex Sanders arrives for what becomes a battery of purposefully inept acting, relay medley blow jobs and slightly better sex scene editing than the scene actually warrants.
Wannabe actress Kia, convinced that she's better than Heart, delivers somewhat unconvincingly when she bends over for Horner who splats on her back. Heart's scene with Sanders in the back of an automobile is delivered in glorious black & white - a nice touch and a cute little plot contrivance that leads, literally, to the doorstep of a church and Horner's un-godly attempt to solicit parish funding. In the feature's funniest moment, Horner manages to convince Rev. Drae that he's witnessing a shower scene rather than a reasonably well-executed four-girl orgy with Heart, Kia, Hill and Love.
In one of those hard-to-explain-in-a-sentence deals, Drake becomes a porn performer. His lightning-quick pop shot on Rachel Love only serves notice that his character has been celibate way too long.
While Rod Wood has its moemtns, and Kia appears in a couple of scenes which should please her fans, it's truly ironic to note that the real Ed Wood lensed adult features such as Love Feast that had a lot mroe going for them.