If you've ever met Ed Powers, you know that he frequently talks exactly like his column in this magazine sounds. For this reason alone, you might howl with delight to see him trussed up like Dr. Hannibal Lecter, complete with barred mask over his mouth, on the boxcover of this third installment of the Dr. Butts series. (His naked "bride" Tabatha Cash could well be another.)
Inside the box, though, Ed is totally unrestrained: looney-tunes butt-obsessed from the word go, very funny, and, well, sweet. Ed doesn't venture into new territory here, but give him credit, too, for swift-paced direction that makes this two-hour vid whiz by. This is not to say that it doesn't fail to come to a boil — we're talking prime asshole-feasting here, with Debutantes (one spectacular), familiar faces and backsides, and nonstop action.
Ed, Sleeper-like, has been cryogenically frozen in red wool cap, wrapped in tinfoil, and, like Woody, with his glasses on. You'd think he was hoping for a future high-tech cure for his rearguard obsession, but, in fact, Ed just happened to agree to the experiment in hopes of ogling the naked butt of his 250-pound nurse at the laughing academy to which he's been committed. You get the idea of the style of humor, and it's nonstop, without ever weighing on the heat factor.
Ed flashes back to the start of his uncontrollable passion for asses: his wedding night with Tabatha Cash. Tabatha has changed her look a bit since last year: the boobs are bigger, with a small tattoo added to the side of the starboard float; the lips are less exaggerated, and the eyebrows are radical, plucked and arched a la Madonna. Still, she's a sensational sample of the genus Eurotrash slut, species Asian exotic. Ed begs for her rounded butt, and she chirps, "You're so weird!" as he worships her g1utea1 globes. Tabatha, you're so right! Ed slides into her puckered pearl spoon-fashion and doggie-style, and she loves it, rewarding him with a concluding blowjob and facial. This joyous experience launches Ed down the slippery slope to total HUA (head up ass).
Powers consults shrink Dr. Finkelstein (Randy West), who recalls a session with patient Micki Lynn, who was obsessed with getting her bootie banged. Micki is still more pouty/cute, in a post-adolescent sneering shitty way, than conventionally sexy, but she's relaxed enormously as a sex performer, abandoning her former phony moans 'n' groans-style for really enjoying her partner. Here she lavishes kneeling oral service on West's tongue depressor before getting her ass plowed doggie-style. They move into a well-lubed, swivel-hipped reverse cowgirl anal, topped off by a cum-bubble-blowing facial drenching. Now that's what I call therapy!
Ed, by now compulsively masturbating, is committed to a loony bin, where he seduces French enema nurse, Tricia Diamond. Ed gets off the best line of the vid, cracking that the only thing he might need more than an ass is a suntan! Next to Tricia's surfer-girl tanned blondeness, we see he's right. Tricia reminds me of a junior-grade P.J. Sparxx, with her long legs and slim hips. Ed lubes up the old rubber glove, cramming two fingers fore and aft as Tricia swallows his dick. Ed then rams himself up her nether lode, grunting "ASS! ASS!" with each stroke, and then splashing her upturned face.
Doped to the gills, Ed has a Sixties-mode fantasy, where he's surrounded by a gaggle of gorgeous girls, who fondle and tease him as they sit on his lap. Legends like "Lotsa butts!" and "Tits, too!" appear onscreen as the m&g track swells. This sequence goes on too long, then dissolves into an orgy, as masked studs appear to drill the babes' behinds. Note well, though, there's a stunning newcomer.
Monique DeMone, a lithe, exotic brunette with large almond-shaped eyes and cheekbones to spare — if you like the Arabic flavor of a Tanya Summers or Leanna Foxxx, you'll love Monique, who sword-swallows Jon Dough as Tom Byron doggies her. The guys swap ends; then master anal deflowerer Byron centerpunches Mandy in the missionary as Dough dick-slaps her into dazed submission. Her clit swells to fingertip size as Tom swivels her sidesaddle. Meanwhile, even Dyanna Lauren gets her sculpted butt boned by boyfriend Brad Armstrong, but even this inspiring sight is second banana to Monique's missile silo getting mined, as Byron rockets a cumshot off her ass, and Dough finishes in her shaven pussy, dousing her from head to toe in cum.
Ed alternates enemas and Thorazine, prompting another anal vision (whoops, wrong company!). This session features tattooed blonde basalt-boobed bimbo Mandy Foxx servicing Randy West, while auburn-haired Corby Wells, a Nancy Kerrigan-lookalike, takes on Steve St. Croix and Gerry Pike. What a pleasant change, to see a full, fuzzy pubic bush! St. Croix crashes her back door, as Pike donates a face-and-tit drenching, for a fine finish to a funny fuckfest. Mark this one down for another nomination for Best Anal-Themed Feature (DB1 & 2 each won in their respective years), watch for more from both Tricia Diamond and especially Monique DeMone, and stock in quantity for the legions of Ed Powers fans, 'cause this one's a winner.