If Bosley DeLongprez were a hitman instead of a pornmeister, he'd probably end up shooting himself in the head. His scripts are rife with more puns, zingers, snappy comebacks, and triple entendres of almost architectural construction than you'll find in a dozen lesser vids. And yet, as an auteur, he constantly zaps his own material right out of existence, like Scotty beaming the Enterprise crew down to the Planet of Bad Direction.

Fans of the American Movie Classics cable channel may recognize a hint or two of Key Largo, as a dumpy island "resort" full of over­sexed loonies are held at bay by an approaching typhoon and the resident gangster Johnny Socko (Richie Dagger, doing Rodney Dangerfield). Only in this version the radio weatherman holds an hilarious ongoing dialogue with bartender Rebecca Bardoux, and T.T. Boy is on the lam from a convenience store murder — "It's not my fault the guy in the turban ran out of 20 ounce coffee cups!" So what's to do when the biggest blowjob of all is ripping up palm trees? Try a little anal distraction!

While virtually every puckered porthole gets plundered, you can bet the houseboat that Bardoux and Cumisha Amado — whose perpetual smile seems surgically carved into her face — get the hardest rump thumpings; courtesy of Mark Davis, a highly underrated performer. The storm incites Cal Jammer to escape "where the beers are cold and the women have never been fucked in the ass"; ("Philadelphia?" coos his mate Nicole Mitchell, before surrendering her own poop chute as bait.) Stranded starlet Sierra lets Dagger "boink" her fabulously young, firm cheeks for a steak dinner, but Richie runs out of A-l sauce during his rectal beef injection. Despite some clunky editing, fans who appreciate a laugh will be delightfully distracted by this latest anal entry in the DeLongprez canon. Also with Nastasia.