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MOVIE REVIEW

The Breast Files

Released: Sep 01st, 1994
Running Time: 82
Director: L S Talbot
Company: AVICA Entertainment
Cast: Tom Byron, Rebecca Bardoux, Kyle Stone (I), Jasper (I), Bionca Trump, Nick East, Mike Homer
Critical Rating: AAAA
Genre: Feature

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REVIEWS

 

Critical Rating: AAAA

The satire and comedy that's been sorely missing from a number of recent "humorous" videos has popped up in full bloom in The Breast Files, with inspiration from Young Frankenstein and Blazing Saddles. Hey, if you're going to be "inspired", might as well pick the best.

With wolves howling in the background, Dr. Evel (disguised as mild-mannered MikeHorner) runs a clinic wherein his nurses (the extra-full-bodied Rebecca Bardoux and Jasper) have had microchips implanted in their breasts. After the ladies finish having sex with the likes of Senator Kyle Stone, the chips do their work — and the senator no longer cares about rainforests; he'll now only do the bidding of the evil doctor.

Okay, so it's a silly story, but it gives Horner and Jasper lots of opportunities for dumb blonde jokes, and characters camping it up to the ceiling, mad-doctor style. It also gives plenty of opportunities for lotsa sex with big-breasted beauties with a little anal thrown in for good measure, compliments of Bardoux and Stone. Bianca Trump, possessor of the best lower lip since Rene Bond, gets two scenes. The first is with Tom Byron, and la Trump makes good use of that lip — not to mention the rest of her mouth. But the second, a girl/girler with Jasper, blows the first one out of the water, as the newly energized Bianca and the always energetic Jasper work up a major sweat that should be reflected in the nominations come January.

Likewise, when Horner and Bardoux finally get it on, Bardoux's cum craving is strong enough to garner this scene a place on the ballot. (And those who've never managed to catch Bardoux's dance act at their local gentlemen's club really don't know what they're missing!)

Come to think of it, Jasper's scene with Nick East is almost as good — all of which is more than enough reason to watch this funny, well-produced comedy, and a good reason for retailers to recommend it to customers looking for levity. Bianca on the box will make this a sure seller.


 

Related Content:

AVICA Entertainment
Tom Byron
Rebecca Bardoux
Kyle Stone (I)
Jasper (I)
Bionca Trump
Nick East
Mike Homer
L S Talbot

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