Released: Jun 01st, 1993
Running Time: 85
Director: Nic Cream
Company: Silver Foxx Productions
Cast: Patricia Kennedy, Jake Steed, Steve Houston, Shawnee Cates, Steven St. Croix, Nikki Lips, Christian Dowd, Alicia Rio, Matt Brady
Critical Rating: AA
Almost Home Alone works with the premise that Patricia Kennedy is Alicia Rio's mother and pretty much goes down the tubes from there. A supposed "lampoon" (I use this word advisedly) of the movie, Rio and Kennedy argue incoherently about going to Grandma's house. Your imagination is left to supply most of the missing plot elements (and, putting it mildly, there are a few).
The feature is pretty much straight-on sex from there, with attempts at dialogue partially or totally muffled out by some New Age din that, believe me, grates on your nerves after a short while.
The most interesting-looking scene has Steven St. Croix doing Shawnee Cates in a sudsy hot tub with Cates clinging to an overhead tree branch as St. Croix eats her, but, from there, the action drifts into lots of cable angles with very little XXX coverage.
Rio's best scene has her starting out with solo masturbation then winding up on Santa Claus' (Matt Brady) knee for some eventual doggie action with Brady splatting over her ass crack.
Santa Claus? Should I use the word "esoteric" to describe this feature?