Released: Mar 01st, 1994
Running Time: 75
Director: Greg Dark
Company: VCA Platinum
Cast: Tianna Taylor, Mark Wallice, Ron Jeremy, Jonathan Morgan, Dayel Cheeks, Jack Armstrong, Leanna Foxxx, Ted Craig, Jon Dough, Natasha (I), Terry Thomas, Lynn LeMay, Crystal Wilder
Critical Rating: AAA
Lathered in typical Greg Dark ambience, Hootermania is an adult fairy tale replete with the bizarre character overload, stark irreverence, staccato editing, a ludicrous plot line and loads of sexual whimsy. It's a fun tape. Wacky? To a degree, except that Dr. Butts 3 does it better. Erotic? Boy, you're going to have to spend some time lobbying me on that one.
As in New Wave Hookers 3, Jon Dough, again, has the lead role. He's "Sir" Bob Thing, a tit-deprived "idiot" who's lived in a bathtub all his life. With the impalpable logic that drives a Greg Dark feature, Dough's chosen to pursue a knightly quest in search of the "impeccable pair of fleshy orbs". Crystal Wilder as the celestial Mama Jama gives him this commission with the understanding that Dough's success will re-establish and set the world back into the proper order of erotic well being. In his Galahadian galumphing about looking for trashy dames with the tits of gold, Dough must ask the puzzling question, "To whom do they serve?"
If you're willing to buy into this premise and haven't hit the eject button at this stage of the game, you're served noticed that Hootermania is another Alice in Wonderland take off and has the dementia, but not nearly the sexual resiliency, of the Dr. Butts tapes which it, apparently, tries to be the big tit equivalent.
A pocket pussy with an attitude is Dough's guide and companion, and their constant bickering is funny. Other moments worth calling attention to include "chicken man" Jonathan Morgan nailing Lynn LeMay with "The Frankensteiner," (very similar to his coupling with Debi Diamond in The Fury). This is the best scene, by far.
In their time together, Mark Wallice works his toes on Tianna Taylor's boobs like they were Van Cliburn's piano keys. Natasha performs at a bachelor party for Terry Thomas, Wallice, Ron Jeremy and a cast of cardboard cut outs. Natasha gets mini-gang banged in the process, though not by the cut-outs.
"Crying girl" Danyel Cheeks weeps because her boyfriend doesn't like her tits. Without so much as a howdy-do she takes it up the ass from Dough. But because of the angle, it takes awhile for the viewer to realize Dough's connecting with her sphincter. (And what's with this epidemic of badly rendered anal scenes?). We should weep, not Cheeks.
"Upside down girl" Leanna Foxxx stays gravity this way in order to keep her tits hard. She fucks "dog men" Jack Armstrong and Ted Craig, while Crystal Wilder finally puts in her sexual appearance in the cast gang bang finale, thus resolving the story and prompting the viewer to wonder why he's hung in there so long for the dumb punch line.
Greg Dark titles sell like hot cakes. Even the terminally idiotic ones. Keep that in mind when stocking.