Released: Nov 01st, 1994
Running Time: 147
Director: Mitchell Spinelli
Company: Pepper Productions
Cast: Sahara Sands, Rhiannon (I), Sally Layd, Nikki Sinn, Kim Chambers, Sean Michaels, Joey Silvera, Amanda Rae, John Dough, Jake Williams, Chanel (I), Danyel Cheeks
Critical Rating: AAAA
Typical drawing room mysteries, such as the likes of Agatha Christie, have such a deferential attitude towards sexual congress that the mere mention of the act surpasses murder as a far more heinous offense.
Fortunately, Witness For The Penetration puts the genital back in genteel. Packed to the rafters with ensemble chemistry, this spoof plays fast, loose and funny with conventions of the genre. In this ribald game of backdoor "Clue," a flurry of eccentric character accents wander around like Diogenes, and, amidst its skewering send-up of alibi-ridden, peeking-through-the-keyhole, butler-did-it scenarios, you'll find ten (as in little Indians) butt-bashing sequences in which the initial penetration shot never a mystery!
Stuttering "rectumologist" Dr. Van Nuys Catheter (Alex Sanders, looking like a mental asylum escapee) is one of the many guests invited to the home of Col. Edward Mustard-Sythe (John Dough doing a gruff Sterling Hayden impersonation) whose two-timing wife Nikki Sinn may be plotting to kill him, so she can inherit the estate and sleep with the British butler Joey Silvera — or something to that effect.
Sean Michaels plays an effete sleuth, Sir Merrivale Humperdink, "the world's greatest armchair detective" whose methods require the skillful probing of Nikki Sir and Kim Chambers' quivering cheeks, which are emanating suspicious vibes. Michaels investigates their motives and deduces that a big black on in the ass ought to put the case to bed.
After receiving a hilt-swalowing blowjob, matinee id St. John Ownesmouth (Jake Williams) takes Sally Layd on a reverse-cowgirl ride and plows her behind as she clutches the bedspread in delirious ecstasy. A slow motion facial pop shot, whii appears to be a running mot in this vid, caps off the ever quite nicely. Dough gets in good one with Amanda Rae greasing her puckered poop after a rough tabletop tumble, and Sanders plays knuckle-ball, easing a few digits up Rhiannon's burning backdoor.
A body is eventually found in the master bedroom and the only ostensible clue is a missing penetration shot. That's the only thing missing in this comical farce. Screamin' "A", all the way.