A hopelessly convoluted detective yarn where all the studs happen to carry razors, and the babes disappear with the regularity of an all-bran breakfast right after their requisite shaves, does not a high-rated feature make! P.I. Jonathan Morgan sends assistant Marchello to check out Chantilly Lace, who's linked to a missing person report and a pussy-shaving cult. The ensuing bush trim-ming/blowjob/boffing sets the pattern for all the subsequent scenes, competently shot but hardly inspired.

Two of the cutest gals in the biz — Tina Tyler and Sierra — perform aggressively and wind up with a face-ful of goo (from Morgan and Mark Davis, respectively). Morgan's mystifying voiceover clarifies nothing, so viewers will have to settle for Nikki Sinn and Stacy Nichols having their bald pies frosted by T.T. Boy and Joey Verducci. A big snooze, albeit in pretty packaging.