Released: Nov 01st, 1993
Running Time: 110
Director: W Bosley DeLongprez
Cast: Tanya Summers, Terry Thomas, Kira (I), Natasia, Lacy Rose, Debi Diamond, Tony Tedeschi, Elizabeth Cox, Cor Cox
Critical Rating: AAA 1/2
Tony Tedeschi returns as Johnny Calzone, the Breastman, who has taken to video voyeurism in a search for the meaning of life. Trouble is, his life is dogged by smarmy high-school rival and nemesis Terry Thomas, who seems always a step ahead of the intrepid Breastman on his search. One criticism — once Tony is established as a video voyeur, tossing the camera from hand to hand, turning it over, shooting under his leg, etc. — we are still given too much annoyingly jiggly handheld camerawork. This is porn, for Christ's sake, not a Levi's Dockers commercial! That quibble aside, Breastman delivers, with long, varied scenes with plenty of tease. The scene setups are witty, and the wacko characters encountered — Lacy Rose as a poker-playing, sex-crazed travel agent, Steve Drake as a yuppie mobster ("Hoods, Inc."), and Alex Sanders as the "Fernando Lama", delivering kung fu, dick, and fortune cookie aphorisms to his large-breasted acolytes — strike the right notes.
Several sex scenes are standouts. Lacy Rose, after losing to Tony at strip poker, gets poked by Terry Thomas instead. Few current performers match Lacy's intensity. Tanya Summers does her best work yet as a friendly French hooker ("M'sieu wishes to fock between ze teets?") taking on Steve Drake. Serving up a feast of ball-sucking and ass-licking, Tanya offers her huge dark nipples for flicking as Steve pounds her on a tabletop. The holy Fernando Lama (Sanders) mixes t'ai chi with d.t., as he and Terry Thomas get sword-swallowed by Natasia and Debi Diamond, then switch partners. If you're going to have flatter-chested relief in a Breastman flick, you can't do better than Debi. The pair switch partners, and unleash twin torrents on the girls.
There are newer faces (and boobs), too — Elizabeth Cox, Cory Cox, Kira — there are "over twelve people in this movie!", according to the colorful box. They include blonde bimboes and earth-mother types, and boob-banging is not neglected, as befits the series. The Breastman tapes are proven sellers and renters, with generous length and quality. This is not only a worthy entry, it's probably the funniest yet.