Released: Jan 01st, 1992
Running Time: 140
Director: Bruce Seven
Company: Elegant Angel Productions
Cast: Tianna (I), Heather Lere, Bionca (I), Heather Hart, Missy Warner, Porsche Lynn, Kathleen Jentry, Nikki Wilde, Summer Knight, Trixie Tyler
Critical Rating: AAAA 1/2
What is this? Is Bruce Seven making my life hell or what, as I sift through the wreckage of my sexed-out brain (well, after watching this tape!) looking for superlatives to describe his latest all-girl feature?
I figure Seven had reached his zenith with Snatched to the Future, certifiably the raunchiest all-girl show this industry has probably ever seen, but it seems the old master has dug into his dildo bag and come up with a show that's even nastier, cruder and dirtier— as if that's possible.
Apparently you're nobody in this business until you've either been strung up in a Bruce Seven bondage tape or have bared your fanny in a John Stagliano Buttman video. So imagine what happens when Bruce Seven directs a Stagliano concept. The mind boggles, and the hand quivers as it reaches for the zipper knowing full well there's one helluva vicious, visual, salivary onslaught waiting 'round the bend.
In this tape, Tianna plays the distaff equivalent of Buttman as she, too, roams here and there breathlessly eyeballing bent over babes, saying dumb shit and aiming camera lenses at real estate men normally have to marry to lay their paws on. With trusty vidcam in hand, Tianna runs into logger Trixie Tyler. Trixie coyly recollects a similar buttman incident from another tape where she wound up getting her ass plowed. Trixie's in for it again as Tianna screws a dildo into her cornhole with all the élan of a mad dog plumber working an auger to unclog a public toilet.
In one sexpisode after another, Tianna encounters an amazing series of highly improbable girl-girl adventures: Porsche Lynn and Heather Hart are two bitches in heat that need to be hosed down for their own protection. Their DP scene with Tianna lending assistance is a killer.
Little-seen-these-days Kathleen Jentry makes a rare guest appearance and first explores Nikki Wilde's butthole in a "Jacooze" and later introduces Mr. Tongue to Nikki's bud after a rousing indoor dance sequence. By the time you reach this stage of the video, you'll realize it's not humanly possible to absorb all of this tape in one sitting, but when Tianna gets it up the chute with a chrome rocket, you've got to holler uncle. This is almost like crazed excess.
Pretty newcomer Summer Knight with her down home smile makes an auspicious debut in a frantic ass invasion with Bionca, and of course, Tianna jumps in when the situation warrants. And in the powerhouse three-butt finale, Missy Warner, Heather Lere and K.C. Williams play "blondes in a row" as they moon Miami on the bare ass firing line for Tianna's finger assaults. Like the boxcover of Buttwoman reads, if you can't appreciate this scene you're dead and the mortician didn't have the heart to tell you.
In any event, have a doctor standing by just in case. You might need emergency CPR or something after a few minutes of Buttwoman. It's incredible.