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MOVIE REVIEW

Taliens 1 & 2

Released: Sep 01st, 1992
Running Time: 73, 70
Director: Henry Pachard
Company: Fat Dog Productions
Cast: Peter North, Randy West, Alex Jordan, Chanel (I), Dominique Simone, Tiffany Mynx, Heidi Cat, Bridgette Aime, Tom Byron, Sharon Kane
Critical Rating: AAA
Genre: Feature

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REVIEWS

 

Critical Rating: AAA

This is a video series that's all over the map in execution and way too complex to unravel for purposes of this discussion. If that sounds like I'm copping out from trying to explain some of the mish-mash, you got that right. But the packaging, which is very nice, kind of explains it.

Tailiens also relies on a special effect to shock the shit out of you. Does it work? Well, let me put it to you this way. The special effect of note reminds me of a sampling of butterfly shrimp Cantonese. That can be shocking if you don't apply just the right amount of egg batter or if you leave it in the oil too long.

Part 1 of this sci-fier begins in the year 1994 and Part 2 picks up the story in the year 2012. The CIA is developing the New World Order and is secretly funding $90 billion to fund a program known as HPC Department (Human Psychic Control) which is designed to eradicate romance and commitment. This development lends ample opportunity for classic Pachardisms like, "fuck her in the ass!" and "I want to suck your eyeballs through the head of your cock." And be quick about it, I say.

The CIA, of course, denies any of this activity taking place. That figures since candor and forthrightness is a special trait handed down by George Bush.

Part 1 introduces Tailiens Dominique Simone and Lorrin Mick. Simone reminds you of Tinkerbell in her getup but Mick is like some escapee from the Mardi Gras, what with the face paint. When Simone and Mick hover over copulating couples, they cast their spell, and love takes over. This doesn't sit too well with the government boys.

Some of the performances really push the envelope. Jon Dough plays an operative that rants uncontrollably like Ross Perot who's just been handed a bill for national media advertising. It's when Dough starts eating out Chanel, that all the fun begins. Watch it. Tiffany Mynx, notably, plays a hyperthyroid tart in Part 1 and is so good in her brief amount of video time, you'd wish she were a main character.

Part 2's videography is noticeably better, and it has the presence of Ashlyn Gere which may or may not be a deciding factor here. Ashlyn stares a lot into a TV monitor (there's a lot of monitor watching) and looks lost like she's waiting to take her next cue from command central.

Alex Jordan practically rams Tom Byron's head up her pussy in their sex scene and provides, visually, the best sexual offering. Part 2 provides a diffhanger with a very grotesque image of Sharon Kane that has her looking like the poster girl for melanoma. (This is no exaggeration.)

Part 3 is due out momentarily. An overall assessment would be to recommend this feature for those who just crave the blend of sex and sci-fi no matter how implausible some of the logic. For others, I'd say tread lightly and stick with things more down to earth.


 

Related Content:

Fat Dog Productions
Peter North
Randy West
Alex Jordan
Chanel (I)
Dominique Simone
Tiffany Mynx
Heidi Cat
Bridgette Aime
Tom Byron
Sharon Kane
Henry Pachard

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