Released: Jan 01st, 1988
Running Time: 85
Director: Wolfgang Gower
Company: CDI Home Video
Cast: Peter North, Alicia Monet, Nina Hartley, Shanna McCullough, Crystal Hart, Mike Homer
Critical Rating: AAAA
Whew. For a second, by virtue of this title, I had cold sweats that I'd be pouring over naked four color one sheets of Jane Wyman.
Instead, Falcon Breast turns out to be a clever, rollicksome feature about a wine that excites your vine before its time. Peter North and Crystal Hart are first seen as a pair of tight ass wine critics who look like Lorenzo Lamas and Morgan Fairchild sharing an after dinner coma. Well they share some of the nectar of the rods produced by the mysterious Falcon Breast winery. They become raving sex lunatics even though Hart still insists on reading her lines like a wine list in Swahili.
A visit to the winery owned by Jane Whynot (Nina Hartley) provides ample samples of outdoor bouquet: witness a musky but flavorful girl/girl scene between tour guide Shanna McCullouqh and Alicia Monet whose beauty and sexuality is reminiscent of a forerunner Monet --Bridgette. Foreman P.M. Bradley escorts Hart to the dock of the lake and does an Otis Redding number on her. . . fa fa fa faiing her till his grapes drop off his leaves. North gets a personal tour of the vines, courtesy of McCullough.
Mike Horner whips out his mad scientist schtick as Dr. Heinrich who discovers the key to this aphrodisiac is a fly that has flown in from Spain to pollinate the crop. Vine employee Monet rewards him for his astuteness. Sounds like Caballero's Love Bites (currently off the market).
The outdoor shots are bright and vibrant with some terrific closeups in the sex shoots. P.O. Conners' script is witty and clever and sustains hope that this could be a trend of great product to come out of the industry for the new year.