High concept art this isn’t, but Wild Man, a film that could once and for all bury any notion about resurrecting the Our Man Flint or Matt Helm genres, does present an interesting laundry list of adult industry “formers”.

We have Ginger Allen, formerly Ginger Lynn of adult film fame.  There’s Michelle Bauer, formerly Pia Snow of likewise distinction.  One of the producers of the film is Rand Capp, the former boss of Vidco; and we have X-director Fred Lincoln, formerly of short dark hair (Last House On The Left).

And what we also have here besides a failure to communicate with an art form on an aspirational level, is a crime busting, superman-of-all-facets motion picture that seems to go along from scene to scene waiting for the script to write itself out of each illogical cul de sac and dumb piece of dialogue: “You’re not dead!”…”No, but I’m upset” or how about this for Nietzche-like impact: “Take this piece of shot to my garbage disposal!”

Zombie-like Don Scribner, who moves his lips like an actor in a kung-fu movie, plays a former “company” soldier (I guess we’re to guess it’s C.I.A.) on the trail of a high-strung drug dealing psycho named Tommy Lee (James L. Newman) who slaps babes around and has obviously seen one too many Jack Palance movies.  Scribner, as Eric Wild, is a jack-of-all-miracles who also has a knack of not being able to die even when gun downed in a hail of bullets from Lee’s cretin goon squad.  All this, courtesy of an after-thought plot device that explains some who-do voodoo ring Wild has in his possession thanks to a medicine man of the desert (director Lincoln in a peyote-like cameo giving off a tom-tom chant).

Lynn/Allen plays a Fawn Hall-like government paper shredder who shows Wild her tits in one PG-rated simulated sex scene, and Bauer (still one of the hottest-looking babes ever to wear a tight dress and high heels) is thoroughly wasted as a scoop-hungry evening news reporter who gets mixed up in Wild’s pursuit of Lee.

But the dead giveaway that we’re in for a long haul comes early on when one of Lee’s drug shipments gets delivered in an Isuzu (no kidding).  Seeing Joe E.’s penchant for truth in those TV commercials, they picked the right truck for the job.