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The Rise Of The Roman Empress Cicciolina

Released: Oct 01st, 1987
Running Time: 85
Company: Paradise Visuals
Cast: John C. Holmes
Critical Rating: Not Yet Rated
Genre: Film

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Critical Rating: Not Yet Rated

Since the advance-advance screening copy of this film was in the original Italian (it will be dubbed), we'll dispense with a rating as plot and storyline go.

I'm a little rusty with my Italian, but I believe "Cicciolina" translated literally means one who devours a roast beef sandwich during a Frank Sinatra concert. The "Cicciolina" in this film is the blonde of notoriety who bared her breasts and won a seat in the Italian parliament. She dresses in headbands and outfits that Swedish virgins wear during their Festival of Lights, carries around teddy bears and has eyebrows borrowed from Sam Donaldson.

"Cicciolina" roams the Seven Hills evidently in search of an orgy since she makes a lot of sultry afternoon visits of people basting in the throes of el backdoore thrusta dickora. She smiles with those Donaldson eyebrows, occasionally partakes of the gulpa mea cumosina and leaves. Holmes seems to be doing the same thing, only one suspects he and "Cicciolina" have a personal thing going because they take private lunches by scenic waterfalls and make goo-goo eyes at one another. The international language, you see.

Visitees to the orgy should ring some familiar notes. There's Amber Lynn decked out in a Anna Paisano slit skirt and 10-inch heels and Tracey Adams who's a reluctant participant at first but is eventually group stripped in a stirring message of great subtlety. Another woman with eyes of fire and body to match looks like a cross breed between Connie Francis, Valerie Harper and Vanessa del Rio. She brings along some male companions, your typical urban Romanes.

"Cicciolina" is no better or worse than your typical foreign import d'erotica. It bears scrutiny because of Holmes (obviously), Tracey Adams (far and away, steals the two scenes she's in with her smouldering presence), Lynn (likewise is cameoized, and that's a shame). Which really leave the vehicle to "Cicciolina."


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John C. Holmes


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