What can you say about a woman who wears flaming red stockings? I'm watching Buffy Davis in the first of a trio of stories called "Happy Hour," and it's beginning to dawn on me — where have I seen those stockings? They are a companion piece to a Canadian Mountie uniform she wore in another sex tape. Well, the old Buffer doesn't lose a beat as she mounts Tony Montana, like she's riding the Mountie's horse through the Canadian Rockies. giddyap, Tony.

"Afternoon Delight" offers up Candie Evans chirping like a parakeet in a little skit of implied incest. Her "brother" Scott Irish groans he can't get laid. "Gee, whiz are you shy?" chirps Evans. Irish groans how he needs it so bad. Evans chirps on how she'd be willing to do anything for her bro. Anything? "Anything," chirps Candie, "that makes somebody feel better can't be bad." So slowly she turns . . . step by step . . . inch by inch . . .

Trinity Loren and Marc Waliice star in the best of the lot which is like winning a poker pot holding a pair of deuces. Waliice inherits Scott Irish's groan from the previous story, and bemoans his lousy day at the office. Loren, who looks like she's been on an Olympic power bulk up program, rolls around their bed in some white lace Frederick's of Hollywood number. She's reminiscing about their honeymoon in Paris and she wants a rematch. Wallice groans. She reminisces. Finally, they offer each other a compromise. He gives her what she wants, and she groans.

Kidding aside, it's always nice to see some new material over re-edited compilations of sex loops. Only I think a boat was missed at the dock. The opening minutes set up a premise that suggests a parody of "Amazing Stories." Well, that falls through real quick since the voice over, instead of sounding like an eerie echo chamber effect, comes off like a guy gargling in Friday night's dishwater. It's totally incomprehensible. And, to boot, neither are the stories eerie or amazing.