Released: Jul 01st, 1986
Running Time: 75
Director: Marga Aulbach
Cast: Nina Hartley, Tom Byron, Jamie Gillis, Aurora (I), Honey Wilder, Pamela Jennings, John Leslie
Critical Rating: AAAA
Thought You'd Never Ask asks the musical question: "Who's making out with your old lady while you are out making out?" Judging from the goings on in this film, apparently everybody! For openers, apartment maintenance man Bernie Schultz (Jamie Gillis) is doing it to computer tycoon John Leslie's wife (Pamela Jennings), who's doing it to Gillis' wife (Honey Wilder), while Gillis' son (Tom Byron) wishes he could do it (and finally does) to anyone that's within earshot including his girlfriend (Aurora), while Leslie is doing it to Honey Wilder and the girlfriend is doing it to Gillis. Got that? There will be a quiz. There's more shenanigans between two floors of this old greystone than Ralph and Alice could ever imagine back in the days of The Honeymooners. And since this is a couples-oriented film you might want to invite Ed and Trixie over to share your viewing pleasure.
As for a plot, there's nothing really novel here. But the movie works principally because the characters, in all their lust, are thoroughly likable. Gillis is a piece of work as he jauntily slings his toilet plunger in search of the eternal backed-up bowl, and winds up getting his pipes cleaned. John Leslie has the greatest "drop dead, love 'em and leave "em" look of any actor to practice cuckoldry on the screen, and for my money is the most versatile performer in adult video. And a scene featuring Honey Wilder in housecoat, haircurlers and glasses giving a nonchalant Gillis his morning licks over the sports page is cute.
Even the title song is catchy (I found myself humming it long after the movie), so what's wrong? My only criticism is the use of a worthless insert toward the end of the movie featuring a lezzie scene with Sharon Mitchell and Helga Sven. It has absolutely nothing to do with the movie but should delight Helga Sven fans everywhere.