Released: Mar 01st, 1986
Running Time: 86
Director: Bob Vosse
Company: Excalibur Films
Cast: Gail Sterling, Billy Dee, Laurie Smith, Paul Thomas, Richard Pacheco, Robin Cannes
Critical Rating: AAA
Sex Wars, a very corny (but kind of cute) sexual sci-fi satire, owes more to those 1950's B-movies than it does to Star Wars. The special effects are purposefully tacky and the dialogue is all tongue-in-cheek (with other things in cheek, as well).
Princess Layme (Robin Cannes) comes to Pluto go get a crew to go with her to the distant planet Tryos. Her sister, Princess Orgasma (the voluptuous Laurie Smith), has been taken prisoner by the trecherous Baltazar, ruler of Tryos. Sound familiar? Layme hires the handsome Mark Starkiller (Richard Pacheco) and the brave Brinker Duo (Paul Thomas) to help her rescue her sister. And there's even a goofy saloon scene, taken right from the original Star Wars. But at least in this saloon, the patrons have sex on stage.
Some heavy-handed editing makes several of the sex scenes seem very detached. Everybody's wearing crazy costumes to start with, and much of the sex is intercut with shots of outer space or flowing lava, really detracting from the eroticism. However, a few erotic scenes do stand out —especially Billy Dee being ravaged by three leather-clad outer space maidens and a fabulous opening segment with Paul Thomas and the underrated Gail Sterling. Also, Laurie Smith turns in a dazzling performance as the oversexed Princess Orgasma and Mai Lin is a welcome sight in one multi-person (very strange, indeed) sex scene.
Bob Vosse's direction is quite good as he captures the heated passions as well as the story scenes in a professional manner. Also, Richard Pacheco and Paul Thomas prove that they rank among porn's better leading men, with controlled, funny stints. But that overuse of tacky effects mixing with the sex scenes in an abrupt manner doesn't allow Sex Wars, a very good film, to become a classic.