Released: Feb 01st, 1986
Running Time: 95
Director: Tim McDonald
Cast: Dave Friedman, Richard Pacheco, Seka, Laura Smith, Jill Jason, John Leslie, Gina Carrera, Rene Lovins, Angel (X)
Critical Rating: AAA 1/2
Director Tim McDonald has taken his own screenplay and turned it into a serious adult presentation which can already be considered a contender for the 1986 AVNA best picture honors. Blonde Heat: The Case of the Maltese Dildo is an entertaining, erotic, funny and superbly made Bogart-style detective movie that exemplifies all the qualities lacking in a majority of today's releases.
The casting of the film is excellent. John Leslie is showcased as a private "I" who is hired by a mysterious woman (Seka) to find an ancient jewel-encrusted dildo ("A private dick looking for a dildo"). The ultra-sexy Seka seduces our hero (in a very erotic scene) into working for her, and the rest of the movie is about Leslie's search for the Egyptian tantalizer with the powers to "prolong orgasms to a point no one can imagine."
During his investigation, Leslie encounters an array of criminal-types and cops that provide the comic relief. The humor here is subtle – a gag carried through more than one scene, a sly smile with a casual glance at the camera, etc. – and compliments the multi-character plot extremely well. Even Leslie's dog gets a few laughs, as he sits there during the sex and comedy with a look on his face that is at times priceless.
But the sex is not subtle, as Leslie gets ravished by the likes of Seka and Angel in titillating encounters that are made even more stimulating through the emotions and caring with which they are filmed. Production qualities are excellent throughout the film as the lighting, sound and camerawork capture all the action without being noticed.
The only reason this film doesn't get four "A's: is because of the ending, I thought the ending could be stronger after following such a well-written plot. But, as it stands, Blonde Heat is definitely a "must see" in 1986.