How lucky I am that I saw this re-release the day after attending the screening of Rocky IV.  The similarities are amazing.  In both films, Sylvester Stallone runs in the snow.  The only thing is that The Italian Stallion is much better than Rocky IV.  But that’s besides the point.

This tape, unavailable for about four years since Wonderful World of Video went out of business as an adult manufacturer, sees video shelves again in perfect timing with Stallone’s incredible popularity.  Actually a 68-minute loop with only simulated sex, we see glimpses of Sly’s winkie, which is never erect.  The film contains no hardcore sex, no story and no production values.  Fans of bad dubbing will get a kick out of the awful narration and snytho-Muzak score that blends badly with the few strains of music and dialogue left in tact from whatever this original “film” was.

Stallone plays a man named Stud and the dramatic highlight occurs when he gets into a fistfight with girlfriend Kitty  (Henrietta Holm) and eventually starts whipping her with a belt on her ass, thighs and vagina.  Of course, she loves it and our hero jumps her bones for a quick orgasm (we don’t see much of anything, save for lots of female nudity).

Look, as a film, The Italian Stallion makes something like A Certain Sacrifice seem like Casablanca.  It’s really terrible.  But for women who might want to get a glimpse of the hunky Stallone nude, go ahead, waste a couple of bucks on a rental.