When the editor called and said I was finally going to get a movie to review, I said, "Great, which one?" "Sulka's Wedding," he says. Well, I just love wedding, so I told him to send it over and I'd give it a go. Little did I know that they were playing a tiny joke on the resident senior citizen. Tossing aside the box and paying absolutely no heed to the warning thereon, I popped the cartridge into my unsuspecting VCR and what to my wandering eyes did appear but a cornucopia of outrageousness. But when all was said and done the joke was on the editorial board, because this is, in fact, a damned good flick.
For those who don't know, Sulka used to be Steve or something like that. But now, after millions of hormones* and several operations, he is now a she and anxious to prove it. The movie can best be likened to an Alistair MacLean novel – almost nobody is what you think they are and if you think something, you are probably wrong. If you think you've seen everything, wait five minutes.
The toughest part of writing this review is to not give away all the twists and surprises because, for the uninitiated, they are the character of the film. Suffice to say, the title is self-explanatory, and Sulka is preparing for it by pre-testing all the new equipment. Her husband to be, Paul (Craig Roberts) is sowing his almost final wild oats with old friend Sharon Mitchell. He takes her to work and gets it on with her boss, Jennifer Thomas. While all this is going on, Sharon meets Tigr (Chelsea Manchester) and when Paul leaves, Jennifer, Tigr and Sharon provide the first of many surprises with a ménage-a-trois you will long remember.
Meanwhile, back at the ranch, my personal favorite male performer, Ron Jeremy gives Sulka's new toy a real shakedown cruise. At this point, enter mysterious Misty, who I could have lived without, Jennifer Sharon and Tigr, a minister, his chauffeur and, finally, and amazingly still able to walk, Paul. The marriage is performed and consummated, followed by the obligatory orgy and everybody lives happily ever after.
There are so many good things about this film that I was hard-pressed to find fault. I can think of only two things wrong. Annette Haven isn't in it, and there is a certain lack of what usually passes as emotion in the lovemaking. While the first is important to me because I am in love with Annette Haven, I don't really know if the second is, since if you try too hard to show you are having a good time it seems phony. Also, Sulka can't act a lick but the movie is so good, who cares. On the plus side, Ron Jeremy has fun and is funny and Jennifer deep throats him. That alone is worth the price of admission.
Director Mike Stryker and producer Kim Christy have a winner on their hands, a film long-awaited by those who know, and a fascinating excursion for the rest of us.
Oh, by the way, after you have watched the movie, rewind it and play it again and pay attention to the radio station that is always playing in the background – it's a treasure.
*They made me promise not to tell how to make a hormone – not pay her, of course.
Oh, by the way, guys, any time you have any more of these gems nobody wants to review, give me a call. I'll do them for nothing.