Bizarre Fantasies is a film for a limited market. If your cup of tea is a marked absence of heterosexual activity, or dreadful acting; if you delight in abysmal organ music, or editing that would make Russ Meyer cringe, you will love it. My grandfather once said to me “if it looks like an armpit, and it smells like an armpit, chances are very good it is an armpit.” This one, I’m afraid, is an undeodorized armpit.
But dear reader, armpits are in the nose of the sniffer. Perhaps within the genre of fetish erotica there is no more than what director Bruce Seven depicts here. We are treated to two maidens frolicking in a hottub. After a sequence of lesbian activity, the only sex in the whole production, our two heroines decide to inspect the home of their new neighbors. Once inside the vacant house they discover a room full of bondage goodies and mysterious vapors. The girls play a game of dress-up, and do a little feel and fondle until, voila, enter the mysterious master.
The mustachioed master makes things like clothing disappear. He leads the girls through various exercises with collars, chains and paddles, all of which leaves the viewer waiting for ships that never come in. Apparently the master’s power does not include the ability to make his own clothing vanish. Aside from the girls apparel, the only other thing he made short work of was my interest. On the contrary, the only thing that were raised were some welts on the girls’ buns.
The production is terrible. The director has shot this tripe on videotape, and apparently never heard of looping dialogue. The result is a choppy sequence each time a new scene is done. Lines are repeated as are actions. Mr. Seven also is overenamoured with the fade-out device on his camera and uses it to the point of distraction. Perhaps the only good thing is that the whole production is mercifully short, well under an hour. Also, one interesting credit gives the name of the shop which provided all of the bondage equipment, including an address for mail order.
There may very well be some interesting bondage films. There may be some that deliver what they suggest on the cover inside the tape. This one, however, should come with a leash, to warn the unsuspecting that inside a very provocative cover is contained a real dog.