Hope springs eternal for truth in advertising. "Huge Toys!" screams the box art like a sideshow barker. "Gaping Holes! Squirting Orgasms! Multiple Dildos Stuffed at Once! Close Up Orgasmic Pussy Shots!" All that's missing from this carnal carnival is Jo Jo the Pig-Headed Monkey Boy - and if he were present, there's no doubt that his furry facade would be buried up Naughty Alysha's crotch as well.

What isn't promised is any real sense of erotica. Yet when Alysha cums, the floodgates open up like Hoover Dam and her body quivers with an authentic sensuality that registers across the board. As for the titillating nature of a dildo the size of Popeye's forearm disappearing up her wazoo, well, that's a determination better appreciated by fans of the genre. And this rubber beast is inserted base first. For her next trick, Alysha sits on what appears to be an adult version of a highway traffic cone. To keep her canal company, a huge, beaded butt plug and yet another dildo (!!!) make with the disappearing act. Is there nothing that won't fit up her hole? For that matter, has anyone in the audience ever witnessed live childbirth?

Such is the level of (your pick: expertise/self-abuse/insane) penetration to expect within AP12, a vid which contains the potential to rock its audience much in the way Faces of Death did for a different crowd - well, a somewhat different crowd. The answer, dear Watson, is elementary.