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First Time Gold 4

Released: Dec 01st, 2003
Running Time: 72
Company: Shooting Star Video
Cast: Cinnamon, Kylie (I), Dave (I), Rusty (I), Crystal (I)
Critical Rating: A 1/2
Genre: Pro-Am

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Amateur filler.

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Critical Rating: A 1/2

This ain't nothin' but fool's gold, partners. From the awful picture quality to the duller'n a coyote's butt screwin', to the so-dumb-you-feel-like-shootin'-the-television-set banter, it leaves your pecker hanging more limply than a dead man from the gallows.

What's interesting is that in each of these three scenes, we're made to wait in real time while the dudes disappear off camera to put on their rubbers. But then in the middle scene, there's a big jump cut toward the end. Apparently, someone is familiar with the concept of editing ... just not very. The blonde in that middle scene, by the way, isn't too bad, but the picture's so dark most of the time, you can hardly tell.

Now, the DVD's a whole story in itself: on its very bland menu screen, one of the extras listed is a "preview," which turns out to be nothing but the vid's opening credits. The dubious advantage this provides is that when you select "Play," you bypass those credits and go straight to the boring action. There's also a bonus scene in which Rusty hires an escort named "Linda Lovecock." At last, something to get a rise out of you.


Related Content:

Shooting Star Video
Rusty (I)
Kylie (I)
Dave (I)
Crystal (I)


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