What did that slut say? The host of European Vacation is a blonde German girl who pops up between scenes to speak in German and masturbate. By the end of the flick, she is full on plunging herself with a dildo. But the language barrier isn't the only glaring difference between our European porn counterparts and us. No right-minded American porn director would dress his male talent in a butt-flossing bikini bathing suit. That sight alone might be worth the price of admission ...or just the opposite.

In the first scene, a tiny little bone-thin girl who looks far too young to legally appear in porn gets fucked in various mid-air positions by Conan the Barbarian. Another pair does the grown-up atop a scenic cliff that overlooks the river. In the next scene, a brunette hottie gets double-teamed and double penetrated on a couch. Then, a blonde vixen with big fake titties and glasses gets humped on a lounge chair. And a plump blonde with enormous natural taters gets banged on another scenic cliff to close it out.

Just for the record, there is absolutely no vacation footage at all in this tape. This is strictly a European porn video re-dressed in American packaging.