Released: May 01st, 2004
Running Time: 128
Director: Jewel De'Nyle
Company: Jewel De\'Nyle Productions
Distribution Companies: Platinum X Pictures
Cast: Vicky Vette, Julian (I), Allysin Chaynes, Julian (II), Taylor Lynn, Michelle Taylor, Jamie Brooks, Chris Charming, Anthony Hardwood, Scott Lyons, Tony Ribas, Sergio (I)
Critical Rating: AAAA
Next to your other Platinum X releases and at the forefront of your new release rack.
Ever meet one of those girls who just says what's on her mind, whether it be sexual or otherwise? Now imagine that girl has an immense predilection and talent for shooting porn, putting most guy-shooters to shame. Yes, Jewel wrote the book on being a female pervert and bless her for it.
Jewel, a brunette herself, taps that vein and mercilessly draws sexual blood again and again. She makes helming five scenes of unrepentant smut look easy. Each slut on parade exhibits a dumb-blonde airhead quality, roughly translated, come fuck the shit out of me! Apparently, Jewel knows her blonde jokes and how to have fun with a cliché. Each scene kicks off with an enticing strip tease, solo-masturbation put-on. This "Stairway to Humping" approach is common, but the climax is always a payoff that exceeds even the most jaded expectations.
It's not redundant when you repeat a good thing. If it ain't broke, right ... and this fuck equation adds up again and again. Whether it's one on one or a tag-team effort, each reliable stud works up a load and so will you. Blowing a wad in these blonde's faces is the raison d'etre of the day. Not one blonde differentiates in attractiveness or horniness. And while Jewel offers her female take on nasty smut, it's her comprehension of what a guy wants to see. And she covers all the bases - the sex positions, all the entrances and all the pop shots you can shake a porn slut at. Give ex-porn slut Jewel a Best Director pre-nom for her exemplary auteurism.