Released: May 01st, 2004
Running Time: 95
Director: Wit Maverick
Company: VCA Pictures
Cast: Missy Barnett, Lady Victoria Spencer, Tony Tedeschi, Jay Crew, Dick Smothers, Sunset Thomas, Violet Blue, Kurt Lockwood, Edward Electric, Felecia, Windy Nites, Sergio (I)
Critical Rating: AAA
If ya know what\'s good for ya, stock it.
Talk about a mob scene. When The Boss (Electric) has the chance to get his daughter (Missy) in a fine romance, the plot gets harder to follow than an unmarked vehicle stuck in the muddy swamps of Jersey. Corpses begin piling up as Tony (Spallone) finds his canoli-fed ass divided between protecting his lucrative chop-shop racket (which is being foiled by the FBI), and babysitting the mobsterette-in-training ... who immediately jumps in the sack with Nick (Smothers) for a rather uninspired romp.
Nearly all the sex plays like a courtroom transcript; all badda-badda but very little bing, if you get our drift. Felecia inspects under the hood of another female mechanic without draining much in the pan. The undercover agents tag-team for a dubious double-penetrating dalliance with Tony's maid (Victoria). Stripper Sunset Thomas engages Tedeschi in a pole dance which ends just as it's warming up. Yo! The editing is choppier than a witness in an ineffective protection program. Wazzup wit' dat?
With a cast nearly as large as its ambitions, Sopornos 6 heaps more on the viewer's plate than they can digest. The result is a bland buffet where the sex scenes serve as mere appetizers to chunks of indigestible dialog - which only Tedeschi and Spallone can spit out with any sense of conviction.