Released: Jun 01st, 2004
Running Time: 91
Director: Maverick X
Company: Bavarian Film Werke
Cast: Monique Dane, Natascha (I), Laurie Wallace, Zoe Paul, Lexi Schafer, Sara Jay, April Hanna, Sophie Evans, Roxanne Hall, Jana Cova, Angel Cassidy, Tamara Landry, Hamilton Steele, Lady Victoria Spencer
Critical Rating: AAA 1/2
Emphasize the sultry videography and \"middle-core action\" to viewers who appreciate higher-end product.
Talk about mixed signals. Uber Blondes plays like a cross between a high-end softcore Andrew Blake feature and a low-rent motel room pro-am quickie - spackled together by gonzo segues with Jana Cova - blathering away like some Gen X talk show host - about the nature of female sexuality.
The greater portion of the vid's running time is devoted to well-crafted montages of blondes doing the shower/pool/self-love/lezberterian bit. (Technical kudos might be worth a pre-nom.) A little of this material goes a long way, and there might be a bit too much of it for centrist porn viewers to digest. Nevertheless, Maverick's talent pool is pretty, but their goose-egg personalities and physical homogeneity suggest animated Vargas calendar girls more than anything tangible.
So disparate is the sleazy content that it looks cribbed from a reel of S & M footage that was gathering dust in the editing suite for a decade. First of all, Roxanne Hall is the dominatrix - and when was the last time Roxy performed? After paddling an anonymous blonde's ass until it reddens like a ripe strawberry, she adds a strap-on to the mix - and finally, a flesh and blood pecker attached to Hamilton Steele. This potentially dynamite scene quickly fizzles due to sloppy videography.
Like the proverbial Jack of All Trades but Master of None, Uber Blondes is a hit or miss affair.