After taking copious notes on this European clusterfuck, it slowly dawned on us that nine tenths of our readership wouldn't know one of these anonymous faces from the other. Notes be damned - what retailers need is a guideline, so listen up: As orgies go, Party of Sex delivers the basics. (That being pretty girls, explicit fucking and enough partner-swapping to require an Excel spreadsheet to chart properly.)

Generally speaking … the scenes pair off four girls and four guys. Like the babes within, eight is a nice round figure. Sure, we've seen much larger orgies - but rarely as comprehensible when the numbers get bigger than this. Being Europeans, they indulge in ass-to-mouth action as casually as sipping a morning latte. And if it's foam topping your viewers crave, wet shots to the face abound.

A tempting selection of girls rounds out the release. They're all Caucasian, but a more interesting array of blondes, brunettes and redheads are unlikely to be found on one tape. Of the bunch, we found Jacqueline Stone's frizzy-haired hippy chick look to be refreshingly retro … though she humps like a teenager. Allsion More takes on the appearance of sophisticated redhead. One of the blondes is frighteningly thin; but she's not likely to add any meat to her bones by raking a half-pound of uncut bratwurst up her ass.

Visually unadventurous, the cameraman plays it safe from the sidelines rather than getting into the thick of the fray.